#well.. honestly.. there are a lot of adults who play this game over all

[eyebulb]

I'm just a 30yo who enjoy a very sexy adult show about demons in hell but ALSO have been a horse girl at heart since I was a child so.. Naturally I play horse games on occasion.... and I dedicate some horses to characters I like. So have some Stolitz in horse format. I feel like Blitz would be proud

[twistedwonderlandshenanigans]

Babysitting Their Kid-Selves

I threw this together in a haze on Discord uhhhh enjoy thank you to @windalchemist001 for putting the idea In My Brain

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HEARTSLAYBUL

Riddle - struggles between wanting to help his youngerself have positive experiences, but also knows that depending on how old he is, it might just be super stress inducing. Finds a middle ground in giving his younger self an "easy" assignment and then giving him the time of his life, 10/10

Trey - he's burnt out from being the oldest, and from momming Riddle, and from taking care of the dorm. His kid self is being told to go play outside and don't get hurt (which his kid self obeys, and comes in when he's hungry and that's about it) very laissez-faire bc he can't be bothered. He knows the other boys in the dorm wouldn't let his kid self get hurt anyways, especially Riddle, who likely ends up taking the brunt of the responsibility 7/10

Cater - hehe yeah his kid self is Traumatized, he brings him to play video games/teach him to skate board/intro to Not Sweet snacks and ends up getting a kid trauma dumping to him. Or. he sees his kid self and nopes out, immediately asks anyone else to take care of him because he's gonna go :sparkles:cry:sparkles: but you don't need to know that. Either 9/10 or a 2/10

Deuce - Awkward at first, but honestly, just does what his mom did for him, smooth sailing, 10/10

Ace - "hah, I'm the best babysitter in the world, only the coolest kids can handle me. Think you have what it takes?" <- secretly really good with kids but only because he had his big brother as a role model. He also knows now all the tricks his big brother used on kid him so he has some fun being that to himself, as much as a handful as kid self is. 8/10

SAVANNACLAW

Leona - Sees how hopeful his younger self was, knows that Savannaclaw knows better than to fuck with it, leaves his child self in community care and leaves bc he doesn't want to reminded of the love he didn't recieve when he was little 10/10 for looking out for both of their mental health

Ruggie - oh my god he adores younger self, teaches him everything he knows, uses his "adorability" to his advantage, but also uses Leona's cash to buy ingredients for a food his younger self rarely got to try as a treat. Honestly, 10/10

Jack - He's a little awkward around his kid self, asks Leona for advice, gets none, asks Vil for advice, Vil ends up Momming and taking over sorry baby Jack. N/A he didn't give up the child intentionally but he also didn't really get to babysit

OCTAVINELLE

Azul - Oh hell no, like at first its like "look how far of come" but the self loathing immediately takes over again. Kid Azul's only saving "grace" is the tweels who terrify the baby by accident but are actually really soft and caring with him. Azul just makes sure his kid self has something to hide in bc "nobody wants to look at that" 2/10

Jade - Knows What He's Doing, and he's going to treat his kid self as gently as possible because he knows what's coming for him in later years :) 10/10

Floyd - Does fine until the kid cries and then pawns his kid self off to Jade 6/10

SCARABIA

Kalim - He's a big brother, but he's not big brother, you know? He likes to make sure the kid has fun and feels safe but he forgets to take breaks and give him water and oh god now he's on a magic carpet bc child self has to go to the bathroom and they're on the WRONG side of the dorm. Very caring, very loving, a little airheaded. If he takes his attention off him he wanders off. Jamil usually has to step in, but neither of them want him to. 7/10

Jamil - In a similar boat to Leona, but instead of leaving his kid self to someone else, he ends up going off campus with his kid self and lets him beat him in races/video games/ dance offs/ etc. so he can feel like he's the best at something for once. They end up cooking together, and honestly it heals adult Jamil a lot too 10/10

POMEFIORE

Vil - Carries a bit of contempt as well as admiration for his younger self. There is a part of him that wishes things had gone differently. Vil likely ends up keeping his kid self in his room all day, but while they're in there, they do all the things Vil remembers wishing he could do, like throwing a tantrum, finally having his feelings about Neige be validated, making a mess, eating whatever he wants, etc. etc. It's just it takes half the day for him to get to that point, before there's a break through it's almost pure ice on adult Vil's side with his kid self just sitting on the bed. 6/10

Rook - Doesn't want anything to do with his kid self, knows his kid self is self sufficient, tells him to not talk to anyone and leaves him alone. ???/10

Epel - Epel uses his kid self as an excuse to go get messy and dirty and play all day. He WILL blame his kid self for any accidents that may occur inside of Pomefiore. Kid self finds it unfair but funny, but can be bought back with some apple slices with caramel. It's a lot of fun, but a lot of clean up. 8/10

IGNIHYDE

Idia - Blames his younger self for the whole ||Ortho|| thing and uh. Would probably lock him out of his room. Ignores/pretends he doesn't exist. Kid Idia seeing ||Ortho "alive"|| would probably have him breaking down. 0/10

Ortho - .....

DIASOMNIA

Malleus - Can't handle his kid self as much as he insists that he can. Probably does something that accidentally triggers himself (both versions) and Lilia has to take over before there's a major melt down. They do have ice cream together after. 5/10

Lilia + Silver - I'm Waiting, Sorry

Sebek - Doesn't want to take care of his kid self. At first he thinks it's cool but then his kid self is biting everything, asking so many questions, getting close to Malleus without permission, showing off his adorable baby side, and kinda hates big Sebek purely because he has magic "already". (Sebek was canonically a 'late bloomer' with magic). He gets Too Stressed and then also gets more pissed off when Silver seems to do a better job baby sitting, but Lilia runs intervention. uhh. 3/10

hhhhhhhhhh bye Tag list: @fluffle-writes @my-cursed-brain

[jazeswhbhaven]

I just want sth fluff right now... How about a week with the kings (plus Lucifer) turn into a smol boiiii (still chosen between their mind still normal or a completely child).

Hehe wonder if the whole kingdom would turn upside down because of the mother side of MC :3 (like they're a really good mother/caretaker/...)

(ok I'm sorry for the grammar, english is not my first language 🥹🥹)

Thank you for waiting anon, and don't worry I understood what you meant!

MC being a caretaker for our kings when they suddenly get turned into toddler versions of themselves is so much fun to think about honestly. They were probably all just little menaces'~

Lead in: Uh oh, a strange spell has come across Hell! For a week in springtime, it seems that a certain tree has spread pollen and affected only certain devils, that being the kings...and now they're? young devils? They have physically regressed in age to that of a small child (each king looking different based on the amount of pollen they inhaled). Let's see how MC will fare having to be a caretaker for them!

Satan: He's so mischievous, getting into everything and breaking things. And who knew a devil this age would still be teething with all of his teeth in?! There's bite marks in the furniture, the curtains, just about everything. He's also got a mouth on him, and plays pranks often. Sitri is being driven mad, and Ppyong has been chewed on like a toy far too much. Here comes MC to the rescue! They can't really discipline him that well, but they are firm by wrapping him up in a thick blanket burrito so he can move. He's a bit feisty and likes to test MC, but that's nothing for them. Though they had to be careful when feeding him or he's liable to take off their fingers in the process. The entire week goes well, and thankfully MC doesn't have to change any diapers. But...Satan purposely doesn't aim for the toilet so the walls are uh...quite filthy. Good thing this was only for a week and Gehenna is back to somewhat of normalcy.

Mammon: Thankfully, when he was turned into a small devil again he didn't inhale too much of the pollen resembling a 10 year old boy. As a child, Mammon was sick a lot and had to be monitored. He was just as curious and still didn't have that filter. So for the most part he was self sufficient. MC still needed to be there for him just to make sure he doesn't get himself hurt. And now that he's got MC to care for him, he gets in his feelings, still remembering everything that happened to him before...he clings to MC, often cuddling and being silent. Sometimes even crying. MC getting to see him this emotional more often is a nice change of pace as he seems to just bury his emotions more often as an adult. MC even sings to him, reads to him, and lets him sleep in the same bed with a few stuffed toys. When the week is over, he's back to himself but there's something slightly different about him now. It seems that maybe, his inner child has healed just a little.

Beelzebub: For whatever reason, he's a toddler, and just as rambunctious and destructive. His powers are still quite strong, and are out of control. Bael thought he couldn't get work done then? He certain can't now. Paperwork drawn on with crayon, puddles of acid spit, random half eaten piles of food...and hide and seek seems to be his favorite game that turns into a disaster when he's hiding in one of the many ADULT clubs in Aybssos. It's up to MC to help rangle in this small devil and fast. They prepare pre-made snacks of his favorite foods, the games that MC comes up with are good enough for his short attention span and fun enough to repeat multiple times of the day, a large room where he can color on the walls and crawl on them even, and well he can even use the targets added in for practice with aiming his acidic spit. It's a full time job looking after Beel, but MC has it done. It was also the most difficult week for everyone at the palace. Worst part is...Beel doesn't remember anything once he's back to normal.

Leviathan: You'd assume that looking over a small Levi would be easy. Um, it's not. Him being back at that age that he was brings back horrible memories of when he was in Heaven in the devil camps. He's lashing out on all the citizens of Hades, even his nobles, paranoia, nightmares, not wanting to come out of his coffin nor eat. It's a mess. MC has a lot of work cut out for them, but they go into this with grace and patience. Levi doesn't trust them, and MC has the bruises and scratches to prove it. But slowly through the week, he starts to calm down, though still independent. The only other noble MC has to worry about is Orias who has been trying to take advantage of this situation. But it seems that Levi's innocence deters him (and MC protecting Levi) The last half of the week, Levi is now sleeping with MC inside the coffin so his nightmares aren't as bad. He's even played a couple games with them, and held their hand just out of nowhere. When he's back to normal, he doesn't admit to anything that happened with MC while they were there, denying pretty much everything. But he's closer to MC now after the event. At least Hades is back in working order!

Lucifer: SMALL ANGEL LUCI??? When MC had the prevleige of seeing him this way, he's very much adorable. His wings have temporarily returned, but they're tiny, just itty bitty. His hair is fluffy, eyes wide and full of wonder, and his halo is so bright and cheery. This a different side of Luci that must have died over time being in Heaven. But during this time he's very quiet, likes to cling on MC, and his nobles, riding on their backs and asking for snacks and angel milk. Gamigin helps MC the most, the jingling of his staff actually being soothing to small angel Luci. Paradise Lost though for the entire week was just as it was before. Mostly peaceful, nothing important going on other than this. The week turns out to be pretty easy for MC in watching him. When he's back to normal, he kindly asks MC to never mention what they saw to anyone. His nobles also will die with this secret. MC feels important, knowing that even Luci's own brothers have never seen him that young.

Belphegor: Huh...well it seems the pollen has turned Belphie into a baby. And even when he's sleeping, he causes alot of problems for Nifelheim. His little baby snores causes earthquakes, he also soils his diaper during his sleep even though he's only been drinking milk....those diaper changes are near radioactive. When he wakes up and cries to be fed it's like a high pitched ear splitting cry. At least the best part is when he's asleep, in a deep deep sleep? No thing happens. And thankfully, he was asleep for the majority of the week. There was only once where MC had to deal with him awake and he was cranky the entire time. Non-stop crying, hair pulling, and demanding that Beleth holds him as he was biting his arm with his gums to teeth. Beleth did well, he and MC acting like a married couple while watching him. The week may have been over and done and he was back to normal, but goodness. Maybe it's a good thing he was sleeping for majority of his life until recently. Him being awake as a young devil is a pain.

Asmodeus: It's rumored that no one has seen Asmo as a young devil. Well that changed when MC got to watch him. He's...a lot less horny as a small devil which is a relief. He was still mischievous, and often hinted wanting milk from MC even though they had no ability to breastfeed/produce milk. But it was strange that he would ask that when he's...a young child devil. Oh, well maybe he was starting his puberty early. But it's no matter, his charming abilities were still working all to well meaning that MC spoiled him with pretty much attention and affection. He was still very behaved and would often be reading or writing something in a journal. MC partially wishes he could be like this all the time and wondered where all that horny energy came from even as the embodiment of lust. Maybe he'd tell her later when he was back to normal. Abaddon didn't change much at all in his absence, the guards holding things down as per usual.

[restinslices]

Angst Idea: Headcanons or one shot is up to you; but the idea of Bi-Han’s kid died awhile ago prior to the games events(probably do to a rival clan wanting to take out the next heir of the clan) and it fuels a lot of his resentment towards liu Kang and stuff. It’s not until he meets one of the versions of his kid from a different timlime( probably during Khaos regins or during one of the many invasion seasons) and he ends up desperately trying to connect with this version of his kid even if it’s not really his original version of them.

Oh this is delicious.

I'm writing this on the tumblr website so I can’t check the word count, soooo to prevent this from being stupidly long, Imma split this into two parts (if ya’ll want the next part).

CW: Angst, child death, non canon storyline

(He so damn fine. The red flags just looking like flags~)

Bi-Han knew he had his faults. He was ill tempered, dishonest, untrusting, held grudges, the list could go on and on. All those flaws disappeared when he was around a special someone, tossed in the wind and floating about, waiting until he was away from them.

He wouldn't blame anyone for assuming he'd be a strict father who took issue with everything his child did. He knew Kuai Liang and Tomas assumed he'd be just like that, only to be surprised when he proved himself to be the gentlest of souls when it came to his baby.

"Aw man!" The seven year old pouted as they kicked at a rock, "okay, you hide next and I'll try to find you!". Hide and Seek had been their favorite game for years now, for reasons he didn't know. He just chalked it up to one of the many things they found intriguing that he personally didn't care for. They covered their eyes with their hands, "one! Two! Three-!

Bi-Han's rough hands pulled theirs from their eyes, "playtime is over". He had already let them skip out on the last hour of their lessons. He had to be somewhat sensible and at least get them to bed on time. "We'll play again tomorrow"

"But I wanna play now"

"Yeah? Well-"

A gasp followed by a squeal left them, which honestly could've meant a number a things. Children were excitable by nature but he swore they had more energy than any normal child did.

"Daddy look!" his eyes followed where they pointed, eventually seeing…

A butterfly.

A butterfly?

That's what got them excited? "Isn't it pretty?

Not necessarily. It was just a butterfly. A little insect with wings. Whatever caused them to squeal, he didn't see it. But he also wasn't a child anymore. His mind had been reigned in by the reality of being an adult long ago, his childish wonder dripping out of him until there was nothing left. "It's a butterfly"

"But isn't it pretty?". He shrugged. "You don't like butterflies?

"I don't care for them"

"Why not?

"I just don't. Come on, let's go home"

His extended hand went ignored, his child instead choosing to slowly approach the flower the butterfly sat on. "I think you should start liking butterflies. They're small, but small things keep us happy". Ugh, what cereal box did they read that from?

"I'll considerate it" he said, trying not to sound as uninterested as he actually was. "Let's go home"

"Hey dad" you looked over at him, "I'm gonna make history when I'm Grandmaster. Wanna know how?

Hmm... Your intellect maybe? You'll be known as the wisest Grandmaster the Lin Kuei have had so far. Or maybe your strength. You'll crush the bones in someone's body without even thinking. Or maybe you'll be fast enough to kill 1000 men within the blink of an eye. Or maybe-

"I'm gonna be happy"

Happy? How would being happy make history?

"Grandpa was pretty grumpy sometimes. You are too. Maybe Grandmasters are always grumpy. I won't be though. I'm gonna be the very first happy Grandmaster. You wanna know how?". You fully turned to face him, arms outstretched "like this. I'll have open arms"

As smart as Bi-Han was, you had fully lost him by now. "Open arms?

You nodded, "yeah. That means I won't be all angry and violent all the time. I'll be kind. That's what I wanna be when I grow up; kind. I think everyone would be a lot more happier if everyone was kind. Everyone doesn't have to be sad and angry". The butterfly began to flutter away, catching your attention. "Maybe I'll inspire others to greet the world with open arms. You think I can do that?”

No. As harsh as it sounded, Bi-Han knew what you wanted was impossible. People would always yell, fight and kill. The world would continue to be ugly because that's just how the world was. There was no "greeting the world with open arms". That wasn't realistic. No Grandmaster was happy because being a Grandmaster meant carrying a heavy burden. You'd see.

But he couldn't tell you that. You looked too sweet and innocent, eyes full of light when thinking about a future that couldn't be.

"I think... " he began, setting his hand down on your shoulder. "I think you can do whatever you set your mind to"

That smile was worth the lie.

"Can we play one more round of hide and seek before we go home? Please please please? I won't even choose a super good hiding spot, and we can use the clap rules! Please please please please pleeeeeasssee?”

No! You need to get to bed!

"Alright, fine"

Dammit Bi-Han. Just one more round, then you'd be off to bed. Then he swore he'd be more strict with you.

"Close your eyes!”

Yeah yeah, he knew how the game went. He closed his eyes before covering them with his hands (because you always sword he was peeking if he didn't cover his eyes), then counted loudly. 1, 2, 3, he shouted each number until he got to 10. "First clap!”

Clap clap!

East.

His feet carried him while his eyes scanned the area. The faster he found you, the faster you could both be inside. He wouldn't admit it, but damn, he was tired. A mix of both physical and mental exhaustion, but he tried his best to hide all that from you.

"Second clap!”

He waited a bit.

Silence.

"Second clap!" he shouted louder. Still, all he got was silence in return. There was no way you didn't hear him. You always heard him when he called for you. "Clap or we're going home!".

More silence.

Then a ear piercing scream.

"DAD, HELP!”

You were a jokester, yeah, but this was no prank. You'd never play like this with him, and that scream, it was of genuine horror. It was a tone he had never heard you use before. A tone that scared the hell out of him, and caused him to run in the direction where he last heard you clap.

He kept running, calling out for you, heart thumping faster than it ever had before. A snake. Let it be a snake that frightened you. Or a spider. Anything but you actually being harmed. “WHERE ARE YOU?!��.

“DAD!”.

He was getting closer.

He could hear you crying.

All these stupid fucking trees were in his way. He kept having to finagle his way through them, which only added to his panic. Seconds wasted on trying not to run straight into one. “I’M COMING!”.

“DAD!”

“I’M-“ he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw you. A nightmare. That’s what he wanted this to be. This couldn’t be real. You couldn’t actually be laying on the ground, blood seeping from the several stab wounds you had. How? He had just saw you!

Someone had been watching you. How hadn’t he noticed?!

“I have you” he ran to your side, heart tearing into two when he heard you cry in reaction to him sitting you up. “Daddy’s here. I have you”. Who would do this to you?! Who would attack a child just trying to play with their father?!

“I’m scared” you managed to get out in between your heavy breathing. So was he.

“Don’t be. I have you”.

“I don’t wanna die”.

“You won’t! I’ll get you home!”. You blinked, but it lasted too long. He had to get you home now! “Stay awake. I have you”. That’s all he wanted you to do. Just stay awake and let him get you help.

Your breathing changed almost at an instant. Your hyperventilating slowed, which was the exact opposite of what he wanted. “Dad…”.

Bi-Han watched as you let out your last breath.

Your eyes were still open, but they lacked the warmth from earlier. They were lifeless now, no light in sight. A smile no longer graced your face. There was no talk of open arms. There was no big speech like there was in the books he read as a child. You were just gone.

“Baby” he whispered, “wake up. Don’t- this is an order from your Grandmaster! Get up! GET UP!”. He shook you with all his might, but the dead didn’t follow orders. He rocked back and forth, your blood staining his clothes, his forehead on yours, letting out the most gut wrenching sobs he had ever let out in his entire life. When his mother died, he was sad, but he was comforted by the fact that she had lived a beautiful and long life. You were so young. You still had so much of the world to see. Shit, maybe you actually could’ve led some unnatural era of peace. He didn’t fucking know. All he knew was that it would never happen now.

His baby was gone. His beautiful sweetheart with a laugh as beautiful as the clouds in the sky, was gone.

You were just a corpse now.

~~

When Bi-Han found out that Liu Kang was the creator of this timeline, he wasn’t shocked like the others. He hadn’t seen it coming, but he felt something stronger than shock.

He felt rage.

As creator of this timeline, not only had he chosen to have the Lin Kuei remain mediocre, but he must’ve known that you would be killed.

“That’s not true” he tried to tell Bi-Han, “I am no puppet master. I had no idea that your child would die, and I didn’t plan for it to happen”.

“Then bring them back”.

“I can’t”.

Bullshit. He could do anything! He just refused to!

Liu Kang… he was the true traitor yet everyone was angry with Bi-Han?! He hadn’t meant for Sindel to die, but why was everyone upset by her death? What about his child? No one demanded justice for them! Even when their death was fresh, all these people who cried for Sindel, their “allies”, did nothing. Liu Kang could’ve burnt their rival clan down to the ground, but no! Bi-Han had to carry the weight of his grief, and somehow think straight enough to make a plan of attack. When he looked up from your corpse and spotted the pendant of his rival clan nearby, gods, he wanted everyone to die. And Liu Kang had the nerve to advise him to think on it first?! No!

“The innocent men, women and children-”

What about his child?!

That grudge was the wind beneath his wings, carrying him away from everyone he once called an ally. But it also carried him to what appeared to be his own destruction.

He was in an unfamiliar timeline now, woozy from the fight he was just in. Fine, maybe he should’ve made a better decision, but at least he was doing something! Liu Kang would probably have him be inactive as always!

But now he was in an even worse spot. In unfamiliar lands with a madman ranting about his need for anarchy. Black tendrils with sharp points came closer and closer to Bi-Han, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t afraid.

Then, there was a noise. A clattering on the ground.

Before Titan Havik could react, a sudden wave of ice filled the nearby area, freezing anyone with their feet touching the ground. Ice crawled up the nearby machines, but thankfully it didn’t stick the way it did to flesh.

“Move move move!”. Ugh, of all variants, it had to be Jonny Cage?

Johnny Cage in a military uniform? He needed a nap.

“How long do those bombs last?” Johnny asked, rushing over to Geras and freeing him from his confines.

“Long enough for us to get out of here!”.

That voice…

He was upside down, but he could still recognize the child approaching him. He heard that voice in his dreams and nightmares. Of course he’d recognize it.

“Hi dad”.

His baby.

TUMBLR PLS STOP DELETING RANDOM SHIT! THIS IS SUCH A RANDOM ASS GLITCH-

[morallygreychaoticneutral]

Evolution of Passion: Hedonistic Debauchery .

Hmmm...I think..Sangria will do nicely for this sip session. Same ingredients as the booze, just minus the booze and plus some hibiscus tea.

The final chapter of the ask from danmeiljie. "Do you have any specific headcanons about the way Astarion historically had sex and how that effects the sex he has during all three acts of the game and throughout your romance with him (including i think a brothel scene you can have even if you did not romance him)? Meaning, initiation, positioning, control, diassociation versus engaging, one on one sex versus group sex, etc? Thank you!

I know there is a lot of shade being thrown around at players who went down the orgy path. But I am not going to do that. There will be no bell, and no words of "shame" shouted within these sentences. G.O.T. is over there. Go play.

Now, let us get into this hot steaming pot of sexual misadventure. Shall we?

WARNING: Game Spoilers, Topics of Sex, Abuse, and Adult themes/Language. Not underage appropriate.

This is not fact, just opinion based off my own and game experience. As always, how anybody cannons their relationships or behaviors is perfectly right! No blame, no shame, it's your game!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ahhhh, there is nothing more rewarding than sex as payment for a job well done (laughs in ridiculous). But, in all fairness, you are in a brothel. What else would they pay you in if not poles and holes.

So, to make sense of the second half, lets look at the first half.

If Tav tries to engage in group activities before Cazador's demise, Astarion is not up for it.

He very clearly, but reluctantly, expresses this after the twins suggest adding him to the mix. His refusal starts out strong, but then disintegrates into a frown.

One thing I have picked up on for this complex Elf, is that he clears his throat when expressing a vulnerable emotion. Such as telling Tav what they are to him or his devotions towards them. "I have the upmost confidence you would do the same for me. Now excuse me while I go and regurgitate the sap rankling in my throat."

And he clears his throat here.

"Ahem. Sorry , pet, I'm not quite comfortable with doing this again yet."

(watching him assert boundaries gives me the same feelings as cute aggression. It makes me want to chew on him. I love it! Grrr rawwr nom nom nom.)

And of course he is not interested. He is not even having sex with Tav at this point in time. And Tav is someone he is in an established relationship with. Sharing intimate thoughts with everyday and trancing skin to skin with every night. Why would he suddenly be interested in having sex when strangers are involved? That would make no sense and be pretty disrespectful to Tav honestly.

To me, the tentativeness is not from a worry that Tav will force him into it, because they can't. He has already regained his ability to say no to situations involving his body and won't be swayed. It's from the subconscious worry that something else negative might happen for saying no.

The word NO was probably banned in Cazador's house and he was more than likely punished severely and often for saying it. It would be expected for him to still have those fears as boundary setting is still very new and difficult for him.

So it makes sense he could be concerned his refusal might create a negative consequence. Such as Tav choosing to sleep with the twins out of spite for withholding.

"You wont sleep with me so I will find someone who will."

Or belittling him for being precious about it.

"The one thing you are good at and you can't even do that? Pathetic."

(pardon me while I go wash my hands after typing that awful shit.)

This is apparent if Tav tries to hire one of the twins on their own.

"Enjoy yourself, of course, but I dearly hope you aren't only having sex because we haven't in awhile. hum? "

Remember, he is counting the days until midnight chimes and it all ends between them. He is still not fully trusting of Tav's feelings for him. (that pout..I can't.)

Also, does the party know that Astarion and Tav are not going bump in the night? If not, they do now. That question would have completely blown his cover as the insatiable hedonistic rake forever in search of top shelf debauchery. Awkward pause anyone?

But, he need not worry because Tav is incredible! And like Moonrise towers, if you did it that way, does not make him do anything he does not want to. Again. In fact, Tav supports his boundary by saying "Don't worry, I wouldn't ask such a thing of you." Which makes him uncomfortable.

Wait.. What?

Oh yeah, but don't fret, he's not disrespecting your respect.

"Eugh, don't be so nice to me! It makes me want to be nice back."

Ah the good ol' shield of sarcastic humor. A piece of armor Astarion wields like a master. Capable of deflecting uncomfortable situations and bashing incoming feelings.

Astarion is very private when it comes to his inner world and Tav has just publicly supported him with kindness and respect after he just admitted to something vulnerable in front of EVERYONE. Could anybody else hear him internally yelling at himself? "Fuck! You just gave up the game you idiot!"

Had they been alone I am sure he would have been a puddle of appreciation, but, there are people around. Quick! You look weak! Do something! Woosh!! Out comes the shield of sarcastic humor.

"Stop it. When you talk like that it makes me want to be nice. Gross!"

Possible looking weak disaster averted.

If Tav chose the "I would have like to, but I understand." he says nothing. Because its not a show of real support. It's very, I'm only not doing it because you have a problem with it. It sounds more like blame then understanding. And it's probably what he expected anyway. Better to be belittled than pitied. Eh?

Meh..

Now, on to the main event! I hope you brought snacks! Oh. Wait. you were the snack. HA!

When Tav suggests group actives after Cazador's well deserved, overdue, satisfying obliteration, the answer is vastly different.

"I'd like to try doing things like this again now that I'm free to find my own desires. And don't worry, Ill dart out if I don't enjoy it faster than I used to run from the sun. Ha ha."

We have already established that he cannot be manipulated into engaging in activities that involve his body when he does not want to. So I really believe he is being honest here. There is no "I'm lying out my fangs" face. No glancing at his nails or attempt to deflect reasonability by trying to put the want on Tav. "Id like to try since YOU want to".

To me, this reads as genuine interest in wanting to try. There is an undercurrent of doubt and anxiety given that the delivery is a bit overdramatized, and his expression shifts a bit. But that is to be expected. People are a bit skittish to get back in the proverbial saddle after being thrown off and trampled.

But why would he agree to it if he didn't feel solid about it?

Why do any of us do that?

Curiosity. Have you met this man?

Perhaps he is curious to see, like the first bite, if it truly is something he can do. He may think that a lot of how he felt about such things was tainted by Cazador's views and feelings and they were not fully his own. Cazador was able to control his body, why not his mind? But now he is truly free he may think that his feelings and reactions towards these activities will be different. Sex with his partner was beyond amazing that first night of freedom. Maybe this will change too? He can finally be the debauched hedonist he always claims he wants to be. Right?

But, as in life, sometimes what we hope happens vs what does happen can be quite different.

He has slipped the old persona back on and is playing the "professional". Putting himself in a position of servicing rather than receiving with them by saying "tell us what YOU want."

"It was easy. Instinctive. Habits from two hundred years of charming people kicked in"

A clear indication that he has separated his main consciousness from this event.

And honestly, trying to please three to four people all at once is a lot to process. So many moving parts. Literally.

"That's it! He was a million miles away. That is what makes it an evil choice!"

At first glance it can seem that way. But look again.

He doesn't react negatively afterward. He doesn't break up with Tav like he did when they made him bite the drow or push sex on him. And there is no deduction of approval. He accepts that it was his choice.

One thing to remember is that disassociating is not just a coping mechanism exclusive to extreme trauma. It can be triggered in everyday life. Daydreaming, highway hypnosis, or getting lost in a book or movie are all examples of mild dissociation. Your body is on autopilot. You are relying on muscle memory and the base of your brain to do the processing.

How many times have you been lost in a book for hours only to blink and realize your ten chapters in and its 3 am? You still sipped your tea, still turned the pages, you still lost your socks, but do you really remember doing it?

How many times have you been at your job doing that same repetitive task for the hundredth time just to realize its lunch time and the task is complete without you being fully aware of what you just did?

Right?!

I think it's the same here. Astarion is once again behind the wheel of a sexual situation he has been the star of over and over and over again and is , I think, zoning out out of habit. He did the same thing with Tav in the woods and Tav wasn't hurting him. So its not pain triggered.

Now, a conversation about it afterward would have been nice.

"But, that seems unfair. In his origin run or if you ascend him, there is no mention of him mentally stepping out. It just with Tav and Tav loves him. Why? "

The content of his experience is different.

Ascended Astarion doesn't care about anybody but himself and his consort. So he indulges without reciprocating.

Origin Spawn Astarion initiated the encounter himself. He made the decision to hire the twins for his own pleasure so he is more engaged. (I may or may not have had to pause when he asked Halsin to pin him against the wall. Spicy. )

I think Spawn Astarion is servicing more than participating because then encounter was initiated by Tav. So he sees the encounter as being more for them than for him. His thoughts may have been something like..

"Hmm, Tav wants to try this. Maybe, with them, it will be different for me too. We can be hedonists together! That sounds like fun! I'll need to make sure this is a good experience for them. And I need to keep them safe."

So even though he takes control of the situation by driving it.

"Alright sweethearts, you dare to dance with a professional."

He unintentionally defaulted into old habits due to the familiarity of the situation. He is not receiving here, he is seducing Tav and the twins. He did the same thing in the woods. He is in control, yes, but he is "working".

The take away, for me, is that the experience is neither "good" or "evil". We just learn that he tried something and he is not as ready for it as he had hoped. And that happens! And its OK.

Sometimes we jump into things we think we might be up for only to find out it is not our cup of tea. That's how we learn and that's how we discover who we are. The "good" or "evil" of it is found in what you do with that knowledge.

Do you continue the behavior with its consequences? Or do you accept it is not for the you that you are at this point in time and move forward?

"But that first rush of freedom can be intoxicating. I didn't always make the best decisions when I first tasted it."

The choice is yours.

Now, as living breathing NON NPC's we know, I would hope, that taking your real world partner, who was a known sex slave, to a brothel to engage in an orgy after six months of freedom, is an emotionally unintelligent and objectively stupid thing to do. Unless, it is their desire and for reasons that serve them in an enriching and positive way. There are always exceptions to things. But, for the most part, we all know its wise not to stick our hands in fires we know will burn us, right?

Play stupid games, you win stupid prizes.

Now, if you will excuse me, I need to go find my elf and accept my "punishment". He thinks he pulled a muscle from pouting so hard. And since that was somehow my fault, he demands I make it right by letting him lay his head in my lap and massage his cheeks till the "soreness" goes away. * eye roll * delightful repentances are the worst.

[kingdoms-and-empires]

Adoriel's Tears Review

I recently had to go travel and read a few works that I never got around to reading but was interested in.

PLEASE REMEMBER THIS REVIEW IS DONE BY ME AS A READER AND IS MY OWN OPINION.

This means I will review in accordance to my own tastes, how the game caters to me, and what I feel. Do not take my word as gospel, what I may not be interested in or dislike, may be what YOU are interested and love!!!

@adoriels-tears-if

Synopsis:

Adoriel's Tears are a gift.

A light offered to the inhabitants of Terrybiël to end the conflicts that oppress the Four Peoples and eradicate the evil that was crawling on the continent.

But every light has its shadow and sometimes gifts are poisonous. For if magic comes from the heart, it takes a soul to master it, and fortunate are those who manage to find it. Without a counterpart, without a familiar, a Tear is nothing.

Just a curse. A child of madness. The darkness on Terrybiël. What must be destroyed before they destroy you.

Adoriel's Tears are a gift. At least for the others.

You're long past the point where your heart and soul should be singing together, and yet you're gifted. That's what made you lose everything you had as a child. Now, an opportunity presents itself. Should you take it, is it the right thing to do?

Without a soul and with a magic you can't control, the journey will be a risky one.

Especially since the smell of madness and blood is getting heavier and heavier on Terrybiël. Will you be able to fix everything, to find what you're looking for? Nothing is less sure.

And yet, this voice is calling you, whispering:

Come ! Come to me ! Come to me and don't be afraid.

Review:

The Good: Tobias is Ken, do not fight me on this.

Also, i wasnt aware what Snow was until i looked it up:

SO FREAKING CUTE!

Anyways, I had a lot of fun with this one. It lures you into a false sense of security and wholesomeness only to abruptly show the player and MC the reality of the world. That their mother had been protecting them for a reason. The family dynamics, relationships between characters, and drama crafted got me in my feels enough to care! I also got to name my plushie rabbit Optimus Prime, which was fucking hilarious:

Also i had alot of fun with the parental drama the MC can have with their father

Ashleyn:

And with his fuckboi bros:

Adoriel's Tears does that thing really well, that thing that lets the reader fill in the blanks and make up their own assumptions for the characters until we actually meet them. Plus it lets us act out and be brats so we can break the hearts of all the adults around us that try their best!

Also there's moments like this:

That honestly just adds that bit of humor that works without cause friction for the rest of the tone.

There was also a specific passage that felt emotionally charged and intense. Youll know what im talking about once you reach it, because it is very memorable. Without spoiling, it feels like justice coming forth to smite those that have wronged you.

The Bad: I know that Chapter 1 is a transfer from the original Choicescript, and it shows. The author has already expressed wanting to polish and clean it up, which i think is the right step as the second chapter and onwards have a clear jump in quality. There were numerous spelling and grammatical errors, but given that chapter 1 is four years old, and that the author is not a native English speaker (is French) that can be excused and fixed. I was able to submit errors I came across, so the author will be able to fix what i found in a future update. I do recommend that those who play any IF out there to submit anything they find as authors need us to beta test! Their eyes literally begin to glaze over the words theyve seen for the thousandth time lol.

The Ugly: I encountered moments where the MC feels very sensitive and too friendly, or the opposite where the choices can give an extreme negative reaction in response. I'd like for the inclusion of a more middle ground MC. In addition to that, there where times where my immersion (self insert, remember) broke as my boy MC felt too "feminine" without letting us choose to act it or not. Idk how to describe it other than that lol, but it stood out to me.

The Aftermath: I would recommend this to anyone that wants a good family dynamic/drama, and if characters and their relationships with each other are important to you. There's a lot of promise, potential, and "oh shit" moments that can/will happen (18+ tag, remember?) that only leaves me wanting more. The worldbuilding done allows for some really gripping story telling, and from what we see so far, itll impact the story. Seriously, the worldbuilding here is unique, and WILL stand out as we keep seeing the same ole same ole elsewhere in this genre. It's a fantasy story that keeps itself grounded by using likable characters who have realistic flaws that provide entertainment for us.

[pianokantzart]

When you pointed out the green lighting in the climax scene, it reminded me of how it seems like people who watched the Mario movie seem to think that it's either some barebones mediocre flick, or it's a cinematic masterpiece and I don't see a whole lot of inbetween. Partly because of your posts I'm finding new things to appreciate it with more with all those clever cinematography things that I never even noticed.

This movie deserves more credit honestly. I never understood why people think the plot was super thin when I'd say the story is at least on par with (and exceeds in some respects) the stories that Mario RPGs have.

In all fairness, the entertainment value of an RPG is based partly on gameplay, while in a movie the experience relies way more on the story and characters. It's easier for an RPG to get away with a thin plot than a movie.

The thing about many modern critics is they tend to focus on a desire to be challenged in some way; presented with novel ideas, unexpected twists, or new takes on classic tropes, but The Mario Movie doesn't really focus on that.

It gives you just enough information to connect with the characters, then proceeds to put all its focus on cinematically recreating the emotions you feel while playing a Mario game: exploration and discovery, fun/bouncy movement, fast paced action, and as much silliness as one can get away with without ruining a sense of stakes.

The movie pulled it off about as well as it possibly could, which is why it was such a big hit with its target audience.

Now, there are some things in The Mario Movie that are extremely unique. For instance, adult brothers who are intensely (yet healthily) attached to and protective of each other as the central focus? Not something I can say I've ever seen before.

And... this may not be a positive for everyone... but the main male and female protagonist growing closer over the course of the story but never really establishing a relationship beyond mutual respect? Given how almost every other animated movie I've seen that isn't a Miyazaki film has to force a romance by the end of its runtime, Mario and Peach's relationship was a huge a breath of fresh air.

But if neither of these dynamics grab your attention it's pretty easy to see the movie as nothing more than a silly romp with straightforward characters and a simple story.

But even as a silly little romp a lot of love and care went into the set pieces, the worlds, and the way the characters move and interact, as well as all the tiny background details and easter eggs. Say what you will about Illumination, but it is a company with extremely skilled animators and designers in its ranks.

So while the end result is nothing ground breaking, The Super Mario Bros. Movie is what it set out to be: just fun. Likable characters, funny jokes, beautiful visuals, and just a general good time.

[hughesybear]

No, the Canucks are Not Going to Trade J.T. Miller or Elias Pettersson

And if they did, it would be so incredibly stupid. Here’s all the reasons why I think both will remain Canucks for the foreseeable future👇🏼

Neither have asked for a trade, they both signed in Vancouver long-term knowing the other would be here as well, and there’s no indication that their relationship has suddenly deteriorated to the point that they can’t play together

If Pettersson truly thought he couldn’t play with Miller, for whatever reason, why would he sign an eight-year extension knowing Miller would be here for seven of those years? Why would Miller sign his extension knowing that Pettersson was planning to stay? We literally just saw these two have a season where they were fantastic together as a one-two punch down the middle, and Hughes has said as such:

“One hundred percent I believe it’s workable. I mean, we know it’s workable, we saw it last year, very evident, and I think both of them have been going through their own struggles this year. I believe in both of them, I think they’re great players, great people.”

Brad Richardson’s comments about the locker room dynamic were in Pettersson’s age 22/23 season, and it’s been three years since then. These two have put in a lot of work towards their relationship, and they’ve been asked about it ad nauseum:

Pettersson on 32 Thoughts and After Hours (February 2023): “It’s good, I mean we’ve had our differences maybe in some games, but he is a teammate that I respect and he’s someone I like to play hockey with. There’s a lot of speculation, obviously — a lot — but he’s a teammate I respect…It’s not an issue.”

“He’s a guy that wants to do everything to win and he's a great teammate. I know, obviously, there’s people who want to... I don’t know if shit on a player is the right (term). He’s passionate and all he cares about is winning. And yeah, he plays with a lot of emotion and so does the rest of the group.”

Miller in February 2023 and the 2022/2023 season exit interview:

“That's nice of him; I didn't even know he said that. It's nothing that you guys don't know, but I'm glad that Petey said that. Hopefully, we're going to spend a lot of time here together. That's the plan, right? So I'm looking forward to that. Petey and my relationship has come a long way. We're still working at it. We're completely different people, you know what I mean? You're not going to be BFFs with everybody, but at the same time you come to work together. We are polar opposite in a lot of ways, but we're working at it. We've come a long way.”

“We’re not very alike in the sense of personality and hobbies, so we’re not naturally going to gravitate towards each other. But I think over time, we have become friends. Our relationship’s getting better. It’s also a challenge for us because it’s like meeting somebody random on the street and just saying, ‘Hey, be friends with that guy that’s nothing like you. We’re not a lot alike but we’re both very competitive with our job and motivated to win, so there are still things to bring us together too.”

They’ve both been asked about it this season, and both have denied that this is “a thing.” Assuming that these two adult men wouldn’t be able to get along well enough to be paid millions of dollars to play hockey together seems like an insult to their emotional intelligence, honestly.

It would leave a huge hole in the lineup and in the leadership dynamic

The centre included in return for Pettersson or Miller as part of a package of assets would almost certainly be a huge downgrade on either. Even if the Canucks received a top-four defenceman in return, something they’ve sorely lacked all season, they would just be plugging one hole by replacing it with another one. Not many teams can handle the matchups that the Canucks present when Pettersson and Miller are at their best, and any successful version of this iteration of the Canucks will involve getting them to play at that level again.

Both of these people are essential to the leadership group, and they’re the team’s tethers to their respective strengths on the ice, as we’ve seen in their respective absences. By trading either of these players, the Canucks would be trading away one of their key advantages over other teams that they haven’t even gotten the chance to fully utilize in the playoffs (since Pettersson was dealing with his injury in their last opportunity).

Trades involving sending out elite players are almost impossible to win

Elite 1Cs almost never become available, and the team giving up the best player in a trade usually loses it. Just look at the Eichel trade: an underperforming but potentially elite young centre who hadn’t fulfilled his full potential got traded and proceeded to win a Cup with his new team. Meanwhile, the pieces Buffalo got in return haven’t been enough to lift them out of their playoff drought. It’d be a very Canucks thing for Pettersson or Miller to win a Cup with their new team if they got traded.

Trading a player this soon into a long-term extension signed by the current front office rarely ever happens

Trading either of these players at a low ebb of their value would just be poor asset management. Try explaining to Aqualini that the multi-million signing bonuses you gave Miller or Pettersson ended up barely doing anything for your franchise because you didn’t have faith that they could work things out here. The most recent example where a front office has moved a player they signed to a long-term extension in the first year of their deal is the Kings trading Pierre-Luc Dubois, and he’s flourishing in Washington when lots of people thought his issues as a player couldn’t be fixed. Miller and Pettersson are both a higher calibre of player than Dubois, and we’ve seen them at their best in Vancouver. Moving on from them over a couple tumultuous months where they’ve both missed time while the team has been struggling with injuries would show a level of impatience that would be uncharacteristic for this front office.

Pettersson and Hughes share the same agent (and are very close friends)

If you’re Hughes, and you watch either of these players (your alternate captains and good friends) get traded so soon after signing long-term extensions, and you know this front office has already traded away a Canucks captain, what faith would you have in them wanting you to stay in Vancouver? Making sure Hughes has reasons to stay should be a top priority for this front office, and I don’t think trading Pettersson or Miller would make him any more eager to negotiate.

They’re on the same team. There shouldn’t be “sides.” They both hate the noise, and the simplest way to make the noise go away is to start winning, but they haven’t even had the opportunity to do that while both of them are in the lineup (this current round of rumours was started by Allvin’s NYE interview, and Pettersson had been out of the lineup for a week before that).

Once the team gets healthier and has the opportunity to go on a bit of a run, I expect that most of the noise will just fade away. I’m looking forward to it!

[yukipri]

So I've been trying out the new Star Wars Hunters game that came out on Mobile & Switch recently!

I haven't played many brawling type games like this so I wasn't expecting much, but I've actually been really enjoying it so far! I've probably put too many hours into playing (especially since I was super sick around launch and didn't have much else I could do), and I hit max level 50 and Kyber in ranked a while ago... (yeah, playing too much, I know...)

Thought I'd share my initial thoughts though, since I've put in the time!

Note: Some folks have apparently been playing the beta version for a while, but I've only started playing since the public release.

Stuff I like about it so far:

-The really creative and fun SW universe characters is the best part. A blind Miraluka sniper? (Diago) An Ugnaught driving a Droideka? (Slingshot) Literally two Jawas in a trench coat??? (Utooni) They're fun and have great personality, you can read their blurbs here. I like how they're all voiced and also all have their own theme songs (which are honestly heckin catchy)!

-Controls are very intuitive. Again, I am not much of a gamer and have very little experience with these kinds of games, but I picked it up quick. I play on my iPhone and it's great.

-The graphics are GORGEOUS. It looks beautiful, everything moves stunningly smoothly. Honestly it's hard to believe this is a ftp game.

-So far it's very much ftp friendly! Most of the money locked stuff are just cosmetics, and even then there are tons of free ones. One of the characters, Aran Tal, is currently behind a not-too-expensive paywall, but he'll apparently be available for free soon as well.

-The skins for the characters are fun and creative! Imara Vex has one that looks like Durge, and Zaina has one that kinda gives me adult Omega vibes. The store has an active rotation of skins that you can buy with either irl money or in game currency, and apparently old event skins eventually end up in the circulation too. Here are just a couple of my favorites:

-I love the locations! Each one is very Star Wars vibes and has lots of cool lil in-universe elements, like pod racers going through Mos Espa (they can run you over). The time period is New Republic era, so everything is relatively plausible for that time period in universe.

-There's a bunch of different game types, so you don't get bored, and they each have different challenges, and different characters who shine in them. It's unfortunately a bit addicting.

-The events aren't too grindy or tedious (so far).

-I really appreciate the different modes you can play on! The main two modes are casual and ranked, so it's possible to play low stakes and just level up your characters in casual, or try to challenge yourself more in ranked. I appreciate how the limited time events that sometimes throw you into random characters you might not be experienced with are never ranked, so it's okay to suck. Character leveling is the same in both casual and ranked. And I appreciate the Training mode too, where you can try out all of the characters so you're never in a "wtf does this do" in a PVP environment. I get so anxious during PVP if I don't know what I'm doing.

Stuff I hope they improve on:

-Playing with people + party invites are kind of a pain. The invites disappear really quickly, so it's really hard to time it so you can actually play with your friends. It's also hard to know whether the party is going to be playing ranked or casual, and if ranked you can't see the ranks of the folks in your party before agreeing to join, which is a little nerve wracking.

-This is less a complaint, and more just general frustration, but ranking up is pretty tedious near the top, which is to be expected I suppose. Through Aurodium, it was generous because you earn so many more points when you win than when you lose, but in Kyber, you win/lose the same amount. You are judged by your team score, so losses bring down everyone's rank, and it feels like you have to take three steps back for every one. Kyber players are comparatively more competent, but I've been in some...unfortunate matchups before. (As of writing this, I'm in Kyber III, but I've been bouncing between Beskar II~Kyber II for the past two weeks...will I ever make it to Kyber I cries)

-I think they started with a decent batch of characters, and I know this game just came out of beta and the team said they'll be expanding on them! So this isn't really a complaint either. But in the future, I hope they add more female characters (currently only 4 female characters out of 13 total, which feels a little skewed), as well as more support characters, who always feel lacking.

I'd love a few more "popular" iconic Star Wars species to have characters in support. Maybe a Togruta apothecary? A Nautolan water medic? A Pantoran doctor? And personally, I'd love a super buff Twi'lek lady as a tank! Either way, lots of possibilities to look forward to, especially given how much I love the characters so far!

So far, I've been playing on my iPhone and it works pretty smoothly, though I've heard of some Switch users having trouble with lagging/connecting. I think I've only been booted out once, and even when I'm forced to pop out of the app for a moment (last night, I got an Amber alert that paused my screen), I was able to continue playing with barely any pause, which is honesty impressive. I've heard controls are easier on Switch, but I think I've been doing okay on mobile.

Have you tried this game out??

Here's the launch trailer if you're interested, it's Pretty:

And a self plug!

Feel free to add me, I'm Akaz!

I main Skora (Rodian support) and prefer to play her in ranked, but also have Aran Tal (Mando, he's my baby boi), Sentinel (Stormtrooper tank), and Diago (Miraluka sniper) also at max level. Working on leveling up the others in casual mode!

I'm very happy to play casual mode with anyone! (and I play casual mode a lot to level up my less-used characters, and recommend spending some time there for new folks before diving into ranked)

I'm also happy to play ranked!

(but be warned, you'll kinda want to know what you're doing, or they will slaughter you in Kyber)

I might type up a follow up review giving my thoughts on each individual character and maybe some general tips idk

[riding-the-sunset-bird]

Hey!

Since I started playing August last year I'd been lurking on the reddit (since I don't have an account) and always found the posts of the person who was writing "what choices determine Cove's X" so insightful and loved reading them

recently, i played the baxter DLC (still am not over it, it's my most favourite thing ever; i just love our pepe le pew) so I spent a lot of time on the reddit just reading up about him and what others thought bcs i LOVE deep analysis on characters that I've liked and I stumbled upon a bunch of your comments (which again, loved reading!) and I put a name to the comment

found the same username on tumblr and simultaneously found out you were the one who goes into the games files and wrote those posts I loved so, AH! Hi!

hahah my 'fangirling' and backstory aside, right after I played Baxter's DLC I felt like I didn't understand the reasons behind his actions? I know everyone talks about how he has self-worth issues and wanted to just be a memory but I don't get how that all correlated to completely detatching and not wanting to be a part of MC's life? Like did he care at all? If he didn't, why keep your number and the gift you gave him in one of the memories (Sightseeing?). But if he did care, how did he so easily at the beginning distance himself professionally? AND THEN REMINISCE ON ALL OUR MEMORIES TOGETHER BUT GO BACK TO PROFESSIONAL; LIKE WHAT WAS THE INTENTION

I feel like it is such a stupid question since it seems like everyone else gets it and the game explains it so many times but I just did not get it 😭

so if you could! could you help me understand it a little better? (and if you have talked about it before, no pressure to rewrite it all here I'd happily read another post of yours about it if you could kindly link it!)

i hope that makes sense haha, hope you have a lovely day and genuienly THANK YOU for what you do with your blog! its so great and even if you don't answer this ask i will LOVE reading everything you still put out!

-jaycee <3

*ahem*

Firstly--AAAAAAA >//////<

Thank you so much!! I do my best to help out so people can understand the code, and at times I just see it as something fun for me. So, when people enjoy them as well, it makes me so happy~

Also, I'd be delighted to answer your questions about Baxter! His DLC is absolutely packed so I get that sometimes it's hard to absorb it all. You asking someone for "help" and wanting to understand (rather than simply giving up or writing the DLC off) is admirable, honestly, not something to feel stupid about!

For me personally, I do believe that there are layers to it, and I'll try to do things in a different enough way/simplify them linearly in case that might help. Included will be quotes from the game to help things flow best.

All that said, let us now go on this journey into Baxter's mind together! ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ

(note that this got so long that I put a TL;DR/summarized version at the end, I just thought it was important to go into as much as possible; I also have a Reddit comment here that has a smaller/quoteless explanation)

Childhood and Early-to-Mid Teens

Let's take this chronologically. Picture a young Baxter Alexander Ward all the way back in Golden Grove. He's a rich boy with rich parents, and by rich, we're talking really rich. What already is so much to an adult is virtually limitless in the mind of a child, and it earns him a certain reputation amongst the population. Everyone knows the name of the Mr. and Mrs. Ward's only child, and it makes him extremely popular.

However, that doesn't mean he has true company, especially as his neighborhood situation is quite the opposite from the MC of either Our Life version, who are given one or two easily-accessible friends depending on the game.

"The land my family home was built on… I suppose you could call it somewhat remote. It's a fair-sized estate, situated a little ways off from the rest of the town. So, until I moved into college dorms, I'd go as far as to say that I'd never had neighbors before."

In other words, there's no one around his age nor does he have a sibling to play with. This isn't a big deal at first, given that he's young, innocent, and raised where anything he wanted was in his parents' budget. He's expected to act a certain way, certainly, but he can't understand the idea of needing anymore than what he has: he's the cute rich boy that has "everything" and that every kid wants to be close to.

So much so that it gives him an ego about it.

"What I do distinctly recall is that as a child I unequivocally thought I was better than other people. That those who met me were lucky, and I could pick anyone I wanted as company. The onus was on everyone else to impress. "If someone was boring or maybe I just didn't like the colors they were wearing that day, I could find a new playmate, easily. After all, I had the most to offer. "Naturally, what I was 'offering' was what my parents had. A big, cool house, exciting outings, the best toys. It wasn't until I was eleven or so when I developed my first stable friends. They might not have been rich like me, but they had their own charms. Those ties couldn't be replaced."

"I loved it when they would come and visit; there was scarcely anything better. They never got over their sense of awe, and I ate it up."

"Becoming attached to other people, especially those people, made me realize what I'd believed wasn't true. And it was so obvious. They were wonderful. I felt things I never had before. "All it took was being who they were. It didn't matter what their parents did. No fancy venue could top genuine comradery with their company. "And for whatever reason, I was in the club, and I was happy. The person who was lucky to be there was me. "I had wanted my friends to feel the same way towards me. To have that kind of incredible effect on another person for no reason other than that I was Baxter."

Thus, the confident boy Baxter sees in the mirror everyday, like a framed painting of the kind of person everyone wants to be, becomes distorted. Kids didn't flock to him because he was "Baxter," but because he was a rich boy who could wow them. He felt that even the friends he did manage to acquire only hung out with him because they were lovely people, because they also were not immune to being awed by his rich boy things, and because he got lucky.

Qiu - who's part of his friend group - being his first crush likely doesn't help matters. It's no longer about his own personal satisfaction, where he shows off and the kids involved do little more than stroke his ego; now there are kids who are the ones offering him something, and it's something he didn't even know he was missing.

This begins the initial spark of self-worth issues for Baxter, and it's a spark that snowballs as time goes on. He doubts himself, he doubts his ability to make his friends happy in the way that they make him happy, and he - when he's fourteen - goes so far as to doubt the impression something as simple as his hair gives off.

"The generous might say I could count it as black, or that it was 'black in the right light' as my parents placatingly put it. "The fact of the matter is that it's a dusty gray."

"Who would notice a color that wasn't exactly black? And why would they care, even if they did? "Me. I noticed. I noticed and it bothered me, so I dyed it. "Was it something I wanted only for my own preference, or was it because I believed if I saw it as an imperfection then that meant everyone else did? "Probably the latter."

(note that this is around the time that an MC might meet him in Soiree and potentially become his second crush)

So now you have a double-edged sword of sorts where Baxter wants to be good enough as he is, yet is actively covering up the parts of himself that he deems as flaws to be corrected.

In trying to craft this "perfect/better" version of himself, he's created a scenario in which he cannot win. Even if said version could make people happy, he is still not the real version of himself and goes on believing that any amount of joy he does create isn't even "him" doing it anyway.

This is already excluding the fact that his parents are *:･ﾟ✧ garbage ✧･ﾟ:* who always wanted him to act a particular way, and he knew they'd take issue with him if they didn't raise him personally.

"They understand care through the lens of control and protection. That's been their way ever since I was young. In that sense, they treat me no different from a child. "But, of course, they are quiet, educated, esteemed, and a tad old. As is their company, most days. That's not the environment to act as a kid. "That meant I've always been expected to behave with the maturity of someone their own age, or perhaps even older, somehow. "A bit of a paradox, isn't it? Do everything as an adult would while getting the respect an infant does."

"They're family and I'm their son. That is what matters at the end of the day, blood related or not. "I'm thankful for that as well. "Now, if I wasn't the boy they raised together in any capacity, then there would be problems."

Even the air of sophistication he has comes from his upbringing (though he's at least made that his own). There's the Baxter he actually is, the Baxter his parents expect him to be, and the Baxter he's trying to build up for himself to be someone he thinks can make those he cares for happy, all things that he tries to deal with himself as if that's at all manageable or healthy for him.

To the surprise of no one, things still aren't perfect. Without a trust that his friends like him simply because they like him, he doesn't realize - or refuses to contend with - the truth of the situation, and the age gap between them starts causing difficulties.

"I was older than all of them. As sheltered as I was, I got along better with kids not quite my own age. Immature as always, hm? "Life changed fast then, and the years between us became more noticeable with every day. I never reached a point where I felt like I knew what I was doing before suddenly, it was as if I didn't belong with them anymore. "That they didn't have time to keep me around with the differences in our schedules and priorities. And I accepted that. So, the friendships ended. We stopped talking as young teens, and I haven't even seen them since I left for college in 2015. "I thought they mattered to me, but when have I done anything for them? Why did I deserve to be liked and included when all I did was want that to happen and abandon them when it didn't?"

Now we're getting closer to the white-and-black-haired Baxter we know as, at the time he leaves Golden Grove, he's just one year away from his visit to Sunset Bird and simultaneously no closer to knowing what he's doing. He's broken off from his old, cherished, and only significant friend group, and now he's all the way on the other side of the country in Virginia by himself.

He's still chaotic, still kindhearted, yet has no clue that he deserves to have the kind of companionship he longs for. In the year of him being at college, he fails to make those kinds of connections, whether intentionally or otherwise.

"Instead, you could say I don't have many friends. I spend the majority of my time on my own, though I do attend parties and other gatherings when I am able. "I do not have anything quite similar waiting for me there. Don't feel bad about that. "It is only to be expected. I did move across the country. It is a fairly common phenomenon for those of us who do. I'm a regular fish out of water, if you will."

"It hasn't been easy to find anyone to reminisce with, not for a while. But then again, I only developed a sentimentality once I'd gone off to college. "I was too young and proud for that sort of matter before then. There wasn't anything in my life to harbor much sentimentality for. I suppose leaving was the catalyst. Isn't it always? "But once that part of my mind had developed, there wasn't anyone around to share the emotions with. My classmates and I… we don't have that kind of relationship."

His parents are also just as controlling as ever, only allowing him to enjoy his semester off from college under their rules and in a place they personally chose and are comfortable with. Baxter, who had no interest in going home to Golden Grove and thus agrees to the terms, can only make himself comfortable by finding his own ways of having fun, such as renting a car despite being underage.

"At a minimum, I can honestly say that I wish that I missed it, if that makes sense. I don't know how you feel about your hometown particularly, but you should at least be able to appreciate that I spent all of my youth there. "I'm not so jaded as to totally discount the place, far from it. But anything I liked about my home wasn't exactly exclusive to that locale. The US is a big country, and there are plenty of beautiful things to see wherever you go. "I've experienced enough to know that much, at least. So no, I don't miss it. And I won't be going back. "If my parents wish to see me, they'll have to be the ones visiting where I am.

"Mother and Father agreed to me vacationing on my own, but under the condition that they would have the choice of where I stayed. "California being fairly close by, and Sunset Bird being so quaint, not to mention our prior excursions to the area, they concluded that this was the easiest way to keep me out of trouble."

Basically, it's all going back to his line about expecting him to behave as an adult whilst treating him like a child. He's permitted to vacation by himself but only in a town as "boring" as Sunset Bird where there would naturally be very few teenagers around his age. His streak for being a bit of a rebel reflects that.

What he doesn't expect is to meet a new group of people and the MC in particular, who unintentionally challenges his negative view on himself.

Step 3

From the very beginning, Baxter takes immediate interest in the MC and Cove, wanting to make one of those "blissful, temporary relationships" that will last the summer. Already, we have something of note, which is the 50/50 success rate he ended up having: MC and Terry were all for the absurdly friendly monochrome man that swooped into town, whereas Cove and Miranda were more hesitant (and thus didn't spend as much time with him) because his directness tended to put them off.

"I care a great deal about what I say and that it makes the correct impression. Yet I am not always successful. My approach is off, really."

"Now, this may be a complete shock to you, but… I've been told that I can come across as a bit too forward. I know. It can be hard to believe. My intent is to be open with people so we can connect. It almost never works out that way, though. I've had to come to terms with the fact that I don't possess a knack for making friends. "It was obnoxiously easy when I was a child. Especially due to that aforementioned big, cool house. But now I keep finding myself at a loss for how to do it. With the hit-or-miss endeavor, the vast majority of the time I come up with a miss."

"And I've never been in a stable, long-term relationship. They've all been brief, and varying levels of disastrous."

Put more simply, Baxter knows what he wants but doesn't understand what people want out of him (believing more that they don't want him at all). On some level, he's flying blind and simply does what he can to put his best foot forward, not wanting to miss opportunities when they present themselves to him. He's someone who likes seeing people thrive and enjoy themselves, and it's even better if he knows that he caused it.

"I live for approval."

Thus, as the "perfect summer tourist" who wants to vacation and have a fun time with those that he can, he seeks to do everything possible to make it memorable. That doesn't mean that he goes out of his way to do things he doesn't want to or portray himself as this person who doesn't even resemble who he actually is, but he puts on an air of not having any flaws that would cause him to be any form of burden to others.

This is even excluding the parallel of a group of four friends that he's involved with yet feels distant from or like he doesn't belong in at the same time; history repeating itself and what not, though in his case it's more like a self-fulfilling prophecy, emphasized by the possibility of him asking the MC out on a summer fling.

"I don't care about what label you'd choose to put to it. I could be your boyfriend, or nothing at all. "And you can also change your mind without consequence, if you find out it's not what you imagined further down the line."

Baxter gives the MC every out he can to make things as convenient as possible for them, not only so that the relationship isn't serious and they don't have to worry about it, but so they can break it off whenever they wish. He knows full well that even the person he's presenting himself as won't please everyone and sets everything up so he can almost anticipate the ending if the MC gets bored with him because he fails to impress.

He's interested in them, attracted to them, and feels that he'll enjoy their company, but he only thinks he can do the same on the short-term; that small amount of time where people are still learning about one another where little else is hoped for beyond good things.

Another way of looking at it is based on Baxter's view of control.

"It might not surprise you to know that I can be a touch… particular. I know the importance of coherence, with individuals acting in a well-coordinated fashion. And I like things to function well-for systems to operate smoothly. "I confess, you could call me controlling, at times. Not with people, but with processes. Especially when it comes to enacting plans. I'd much rather act under my own steam than follow someone else's lead. "I'm only flexible with the personal, not the business, aspects of life."

His relationship with the MC is, on some level, a process. It's something for him to carefully plan out and calculate to make it the best he can for them. Getting more personal would involve him revealing the parts of himself that he finds distasteful and believes the MC will as well.

Of course, he doesn't anticipate growing attached to them, which brings in the "risk versus reward" aspect. This can be seen when Baxter initially agrees to have drinks with the MC in the morning that he hates so much, where the safe option would be to simply postpone until another day, except he wants to spend time with them as soon as possible.

In that respect, it's not unlike him struggling to decide on the type of ice cream he'd like.

"My problem is this: I'm unsure if I should get a dessert that's to my usual taste. If I do, I'd be certain to enjoy what comes from the ice cream truck. That would be nice. "But, on the other hand, this may happen only once. Perhaps it'd be more rewarding to get something new, an option that would be challenging to find in a common store. "Which will add more to the experience? Indulgence or novelty? I want to make the right choice."

However, his risks don't end up panning out well in his mind because he's unable to get past something so minor as forgetting his wallet, when all he and the MC had planned to do was have a nice time at a cafe in Drinks. In his mind, the Baxter he's trying to present had failed, and what else can he do at that point (under his perceived logic) but do what he remembers worked from childhood?

"It's a question of knowing the right people who know the right people. We could have even had full backstage access with the main cast if I'd asked. "I do try not to lean on that kind of thing too much, if you can believe me. I appreciate it might not look like it now. You could say it's a means for me to preserve my sense of independence. It's easy to be popular if you can foot the bill, and I don't want that to be what draws others to me. "But after all that, here I am, leaning on the same old crutch. Nothing has changed since I was six."

"I suppose that was part of the issue. I didn't consider myself appealing enough as a person to be worth the time. So, I wanted the support of an exciting or interesting backdrop for meetups. "But… it shouldn't matter that much where you are if you enjoy who you're with."

Baxter expects perfection out of himself in the same way that his parents expected things out of him, and the limitations follow accordingly. He wants little more than the MC's presence and it is up to him to "repay them" for it. When he was a child, he was the one everyone else had to impress, and now it's the other way around: he has to impress those he wants to be around.

Except he's only human, and aiming to be the perfect person for the MC all summer simply isn't feasible, which he takes with every ounce of criticism one can imagine.

"This whole situation… it's asinine. I haven't known you long enough to be causing this kind of trouble. I'm quite literally a stranger. And I won't even be here long enough for that to change. As welcoming as you all are here, that can't be forgotten. "This was-I was-only ever supposed to be a part of the fun. A worthwhile piece of summer scenery. Someone who added to the experience, not held it back. You shouldn't have to baby me! To sit there and spend your time making me feel better when I don't keep it together. "The mess I am in the mornings, the drama I cause in the evenings: the person I am when the show is over. Those aspects shouldn't be any of your concern. I don't provide that support to you, do I? And how could I when I don't know you? "No. It's not fair to make you worried or, worse, guilty over what happens to me. What matters is that when we're together it's for the pleasant parts of existence. The less ideal shades of life can be managed separately. "That's all I wanted."

Two things to note as well is that he'll say all of the same dialog even if he and the MC have experienced Hang or Planning (where Baxter can comfort them), and there's a dialog path in Sightseeing (i.e: the moment most players will play first) where he'll openly say that he hopes they count for "more than strangers."

(He's additionally rejected the idea that he knows the MC despite relishing every given opportunity to listen to the MC babble about even the most mundane things.)

So not only will he deny to himself that comforting the MC was worth enough to count (or unintentionally block it from his mind), but when it comes to things becoming more personal, suddenly he's "just a stranger/near-stranger." The MC can be comforted when they need it but not him, and he's just some nobody tourist when it comes time to put any value on himself...

whether that be the simple things like driving everyone around, to the stuff that takes effort to notice like him seeing that the MC wanted to ride in the passenger seat, to the more complex like literally saving Miranda's entire birthday party.

"I couldn't have devised a more pleasant way to spend my time here, even if I tried. And to be frank, I have tried. I didn't come to Sunset Bird totally devoid of any plans or ideas. "You and your friends have invited me to participate in an event with great significance to you. It's a profound gesture to show to a relative stranger. "When it's over, and I'm long gone from here, I hope you can all look back on this party for years to come-maybe for the rest of your lives-and treasure the memory. "And if I am a part of that memory, then that is satisfaction enough. Though perhaps I'm in danger of giving my contribution too much credit."

A hypocrite (I say this affectionately, I swear) of the highest order; there are rules for himself and no other rules for everybody else. The things he does are never enough whereas everyone else does plenty by simply existing and giving him the time of day.

Leaving the way he does with no contact and little hope of seeing each other again is the inevitable result of the process he'd put together for his time with the MC and his summer at Sunset Bird. From the beginning, he's had a time frame to keep to, an intent to not get attached, an expectation that no one would get attached to him, and an idea that he would leave as little more than a memory.

"Only lately it's been different. Incredibly different. I almost worry my luck won't last. It will all be over soon. "I wish… I could stay."

Except he does get attached, just as the MC gets attached to him (in what he can admit in Step 4 is the most stable relationship he's ever been in), and now all the control he feels he had goes out the window. That's why he has the potential to get upset if the MC keeps pushing his buttons by questioning him.

"I would've preferred it to have been an enjoyable time having my company while I happened to be here, that was the intention. It seems I've ruined that on the whole. I accept the blame for that. If I had behaved better this wouldn't have come to a close on such an abhorrent note. "However, I am not an irreplaceable part of your life. I was a tourist, a novelty. And now I'm not even that. So don't bother with this."

To him, everything is so obvious: he got "lucky" getting to hang out with his Golden Grove friends, who were simply so nice that they continued bothering with him at all despite his flaws. Considering how that ended, he expected the same where no one would bat an eye if he left.

The MC trying to hang onto what they have isn't a sign that he had done anything right, but that the MC is being their sweet, considerate self in thinking about him. He's had at least five years of criticizing himself, of trying to make people happy yet downplaying it when he does, that everything the MC says goes in one ear and out the other.

"I heard you then and each reasonable suggestion to salvage the situation, but I brushed you off as if you were the one being dramatic. Or that you were lying."

At some point between having his Golden Grove friend group to now, his priorities had changed. He'd given up on having true value to people and instead focuses on creating moments (an appropriate word to use given how the game works) with them. It's a natural progression from not believing he's important to not believing he could ever possibly be.

Even basic traits he does have that one will likely see as something to adore, he won't attribute to himself.

"Now, I do admit, though, that isn't what one might call a grand love story. It's simplicity itself. "I'm not the most romantic or sentimental person in the world. I know that can be at odds with my formality, yet it's the way I am."

He'll say he's not romantic nor sentimental while being one of the most romantic and sentimental people in the game, so either he's unaware of it or refuses to associate positive words like those with himself. On the flip side, he can falsely associate others with credit for things they've done without acknowledging the finer details that might negate his point.

For example, in the Wedding DLC, Baxter gives so much credit to Cove for "staying" and "trying" without understanding that Cove didn't have a choice on whether to stay or leave the MC initially due to still being a child (who absolutely would have left and in fact did try to leave in the Step 1 DLC). He's also one of the few characters who doesn't consider Cove "clingy," probably because he's just as clingy if not more so.

By unknowingly projecting his self-hatred onto the MC's view of him, he's come to the idea that the MC has already gotten as much out of the relationship with him as possible without things completely falling apart, and daring to want anything further is his own self-interest/ego getting to him.

It's even to the point of deciding that everything is his fault if the MC kissed him in Planning when they weren't dating.

"I must apologize for that. I shouldn't have done it. Even at the time I knew I shouldn't have. That was a bad idea. One that only managed to complicate our relationship further. "I shouldn't have involved you in more of my selfishness."

So his conclusion in the Step 3 ending is that he's lost no matter what and genuinely cannot comprehend the idea that he had done anything right for the MC to want to stay in contact with him.

If the MC contently accepts separating from him, then that proves to him that he isn't someone worth sticking around for. If they instead get upset or want to stay in touch, then he has somehow done something wrong in the way he went about things and presented himself. It all goes back to being a scenario he's set himself up not to win.

"In short, what I'm saying is that I'm a fraud in all regards. You can't take any of it seriously, including what color my hair is."

"I don't deserve to have that kind of relationship with another person. That's why. I don't contribute anything. "Maybe I can impress others for a time, but how do you go beyond that? I can't say what it means to be significant as a person, to be irreplaceable. "And since I don't have the answer, I certainly wasn't going to assume I'd do it by accident. What does it take to add value to someone simply just by being there? I tried, but I never knew. "In my eyes there's a world of humans living freely among one another, while every connection I create is so fragile. If I make the wrong step I might hurt them, or be hurt myself, and if it's strained at all it will break entirely."

The sad part of it is that it makes sense, in a way. The things he did for the MC - baring perhaps that damned chocolate fountain - were almost effortless to him. He wanted to do them, so why would he think he did anything special?

One of the very few times he's willing to talk in any way bad about another is only if the MC uses Jude and Scott's relationship as a reason for why they could keep in touch. That's when his cynical side comes out.

"Of course, my rather reasonable prediction is that it will not last. Most relationships don't."

As things were that summer, Baxter viewed the MC as someone he would love to know, but not someone who wanted to know him because he doesn't think he's likable; that the slightest inconvenience to them - to anyone - would make him not worth keeping in touch with any longer. The MC also has friends who have been around longer than him, and he's never considered that he could have any role amongst them.

Tempting fate was never his intention, yet that's exactly what he does in believing they'll never meet again, drawn together as if the longing makes them magnetic to each other.

Step 4

As is standard with the inevitable passage of time and growing older, Baxter is slowly finding himself and improving as a person over the five years that he and the MC are apart. Some things change and others stay the same, whether for better or worse.

Though, any positives aren't particularly noteworthy to Baxter himself.

"I can say that I've improved some talents over the years and found a less eye-catching sense of style, but for anything meaningful there's been no growth."

Due to his self-worth issues, he never thinks what he does is good enough and is wholly focused on where he's yet to improve upon, even though he is fully aware about the parts of himself he has worked on.

"You don't need to worry. I'm not quite as sensitive as I used to be about mistakes. I will survive this, pride as wounded as it may be from these trials and tribulations."

"Part of the tragedy of adult life is learning to roll with the punches, so to speak. I suppose I should be proud of the fact that I can at least handle it much better than when I was younger. "Thinking about what kind of panic a younger Baxter would have been thrown into at the prospect of a missing shirt on an important day-"

Under that lens, it doesn't matter what he does or how he deals with the issues he feels are a burden to himself and/or others; there's always an asterisk - that he's attached to them - to act as a "yes, but..."

"I'm fortunate that thanks to my upbringing I happen to be well acquainted with formality and what it takes to authentically achieve it for an event. It's a unique kind of direct experience to wield. "Additionally, I deal well with the high level of control and detail-work one must take in a stressful event. "When it comes to work, I absolutely can make decisions. It's only in my personal life where I lack conviction. "And that's most suited in bursts with different people rather than a long-term position in a consistent group. You can easily get sick of someone who needs everything to be 'just so'."

Similar to the weddings he involves himself with as he graduates and gets a career as a wedding planner, there is an ideal final product to work towards, but one he could never conceivably be happy with because he's already starting from a place of seeing himself as someone worthless as an individual. It shapes said final product into something entirely unrealistic, never mind completely unachievable.

As for figuring out a life for himself, that goes hand-in-hand with where he ultimately chooses as his first place to live: Prism Vista City, which Mr. "Definitely Not Sentimental" ends up getting attached to.

"This, ahem, particular location was intended to be only a starting point. I was coming from the complete other side of the country, and I at least knew I enjoyed the area. "I expected to relocate once I had my bearings. It wasn't my intention to linger where I might not be welcomed. "But who could've guessed it was harder to pack up and leave everything behind once you had silly things such as an 'actual apartment in your own name' and a 'real career' tying you down? "Weeks passed, then months, and then, perhaps inevitably, I came face to face with one of the reasons I developed such a positive outlook on this state to begin with. "You know, it never ceases to amaze me. California is directly beside Oregon. I could practically walk there if I was industrious, and stupid, enough. "Despite that, being here is a wholly different experience than what I had being raised in the neighboring state. "Sometimes it seems as if I'm still a tourist. That I don't belong here, and everyone who passes by can smell the otherness on me. "Other days, I have the confidence to think I've found my own place in the world…"

That's one thing that never changes about Baxter in virtually all of his life: the desire to simply belong somewhere. What does change is how he approaches that want.

He wanted to belong with his Golden Grove friends, but fell out with them due to the circumstances and chalked it up to a failure on his part. When he wanted to belong with his Sunset Bird ones, he'd already decided himself that it would never happen to save him from any potential disappointment, and that simply being there for a summer would be enough.

In adulthood, he's given up on such things entirely. No more friends, no more flings, and even his most consistent contact - his parents - have been cut out of his life (though in the latter case, it's for the better).

"What happened, I do exactly… that to everyone who unfortunately crosses my path. "The acquaintances I made at college, dancing partners, the friends I had since childhood; my parents, though, that is an entirely different story. "The point of the matter is, excluding those I interact with regularly due to work, I have no relations whatsoever. That's simply the way it goes."

"To start, I haven't spoken to my parents in, mm, a few years now. That's what I meant when I included them in the list of relationships I haven't maintained. "Don't worry. It isn't a painful topic for me, exactly. Mostly I find it… disappointing. Frustrating? Certainly awkward. "Before I cause too much concern, they've never done anything to intentionally hurt me; my parents have always cared for my well-being. "And I can't deny how much they have done for me - all the opportunities and advantages I had because they provided them. They gave me the best they knew how and- "This is not as nuanced as I might be making it sound. "What a novelty it would be if I could speak favorably of my own family. Can you imagine? "That's not the case, however. "What I am trying to say is that my parents are, on the whole, good to me. And they do love me as their child whom they raised for nearly two decades. "Just as I still feel compelled to give them credit for the minimum, I'm certain they're telling their acquaintances endless excuses for why I'm so distant and unagreeable with them. "They haven't given up on me, in their own way. "But all that does not make them good people. "I can assure you that because they are not good people. I'm merely a rare exception to the unpleasantness. "My parents are selfish- they're sheltered. Even as adults."

"Imagining myself as not their son and not someone they loved seemed meaningless at the time. They did love me and that's what mattered. "Of course, it's not always enough, is it? "If I wasn't theirs, either through birth or adoption, if I was someone else's son, they… would hate me. "I know I'm foolish, on many counts. It took me a long time to realize that them being hypocritical shouldn't reassure me the way it did. "Baxter Ward could have as many 'shortcomings' or 'problems' as he did and it'd be fine because it was 'different' in that case. There were reasons, can't you see? "But they couldn't see that other people deserved the same kind of understanding. "And that some things weren't 'problems' in the first place…"

The true tragedy of it being that it's heavily implied that Baxter's parents did attempt to teach him or at least act in a way that would lead him towards a life without any meaningful relationships, which is what he got when he became an adult but not ever what he truly wanted.

"And their nonsense priorities and concerns are what my parents expected from me! "How ironic that I can finally see the silver lining of my lifelong struggles thanks to them. "If I never realized how poor my connections were, or if I never cared that my relationships were nothing more than associations based on conveniences, maybe I'd have been who they wanted."

Arguably, Baxter is at the most "successful" place in his life: he might not be rich anymore, but he's making his own money with a job that suits him, he has a nice apartment, and he's living comfortably.

Except he's not happy, and convinces himself that it's as good as he's ever going to get. It's both the highest and lowest point of his life.

"Of course, I wouldn't be able to understand the viewpoint of someone willing to commit themselves to another person for the rest of their life. "It's what makes for a good planner. I can get invested just enough in the premise to truly create something special, but I'm not attached to the real relationship. "And I'm not disappointed when it's over. "It's been years since I was careless enough to be hurt by anything. "I'd given up on trying for more than what I already had. Then I told others, and myself, that meant I was always content. But honestly, it made me bitter. "I didn't become the person I wanted to be. I didn't achieve the kind of life I'd hoped for."

He couldn't even maintain his relationship with dance, something he'd adored since he was young and now limits to lessons given to wedding couples.

"In a way, I fell out of love with that passion. "It became tedious and unsatisfying to do it with complete strangers, and I didn't have enough hours in a day to dedicate to a long-term competitive partner any longer. "But perhaps I should've tried harder not to give it up entirely. "How embarrassing… even my choice of hobby revolved around having a serious and understanding relationship with someone else. "The precise matter I've had a lifelong struggle to obtain."

As for the MC, Baxter misses them desperately, but goes about his life as though he doesn't. He's committed to viewing himself as someone who doesn't deserve them and that what he did was the right thing to do.

It would seemingly be "easy" then to let go of anything that reminds him of them, in hopes of either limiting the times that he finds himself thinking back to those moments or steering himself towards moving on, but he can't.

The MC's souvenir (if they gave him one)...

"I am fond of it even now. I've never been able to part with it. But isn't that what souvenirs are for? Keeping for the long term? "I'm being entirely reasonable for holding onto that after thoroughly leaving everything in Sunset Bird behind."

Their number...

"I had your number all along. "Of course, I never looked at it over the years we were apart, but didn't have it in me to delete it either."

Even the khaki shirt he wore during Mountain (if he and the MC were dating at the time and they invited him up to their room)...

"It remains my stolen property to this day."

He keeps all of them, unable to let go of the feelings the MC caused within himself but locking them deep inside rather than addressing them. He has the very method for contacting the MC at any time to reconnect, to explain himself, to apologize, to confirm or reject his own doubts over what happened, but he doesn't out of fear.

"I said it before- my concern was protecting my own feelings. Anything I did to that end felt justified. "The more time and experience let me reflect on my actions, I only became more convinced I should stick to my word and not trouble you further."

"I've also missed you over those five years. "And Terry and Miranda and Cove and that summer in Sunset Bird, but mostly, it was you who I thought of. "During that trip, I did feel wanted. "You made me feel wanted. And… important. "It was exciting and amazing, and felt impossible it could last. The shine would wear off eventually, as always. I didn't want to see it happen. "What if I seemed pathetic for being attached to people I met on a short vacation? You had your real group of friends who lived with you there already. "Or what if you stopped responding to me after realizing I wasn't that interesting? Or why would I have even assumed there'd be a reason to talk to me at all once it was no longer convenient? "I'm aware that's not a kind way to view you, but it wasn't that you'd done something to make me believe it would happen. It's my viewpoint for every situation."

Baxter never once thinks that the MC is a bad person, simply that he is the problem and even the best of people will "understandably" lose interest in him if there's any interest to begin with. As someone who likes control and has been conditioned to stray away from more personal relationships, it's advantageous to him to remain in his self-sabotaging mindset.

It's what he's used to.

"I can't afford to flitter off on vacations whenever the mood strikes the way my parents can, but I have a very comfortable existence. "It's nice, if lonely. "Of course, let's not pretend I have anyone to blame for that other than myself. I ended every relationship I had with my own actions. "It's the story of my life. I want to be liked, but I don't want to be important. "A suitor for a season, the planner at a wedding- it's that kind of role I'm comfortable in. "Perhaps that's why I'm drawn to people who are wanted by everyone else. They don't need me. I can be someone, I can't be 'the one'."

So when his Step 4 begins and the MC unexpectedly shows up back in his life, five years after Baxter expressed confidence that they would never meet again, he can barely handle it. Without his say so, he's being confronted with feelings that haven't faded, and ones he already thinks are ridiculous of him to have considering how short of a time he'd known the MC.

The best he can think to do is to put on an air of professionalism and brush the rest off. He'd already left, not contacted the MC for so long, and had remained determined to never see them again, so he doubles down on it.

"I'm merely an employee of your friends. Please feel free to ignore me entirely."

However, it's not tenable, because Baxter has never been someone with the impulse control to keep him in check. Even in the few days he knows that the MC will be around and then leave afterwards, holding himself back from doing what he wants isn't something he can keep up for that long.

In front of people like Jude and Scott who he doesn't know, it's at least easier, but around someone like Xavier who he has some form of friendlier relationship with (only a day after he'd conveyed to himself and the others that he's nothing more than the wedding planner), he's already dropping stories about the past.

"As soon as it comes to you it appears my reason goes out the window. Along with much of my dignity. "But that is how it is."

"Enjoying myself in your presence is the most natural thing in the world. Frustratingly so, at times. I find myself letting go of more than I intended to."

It's also not that Baxter doesn't want to talk to the MC because, if the MC tries to get him to talk during the ride back from the bakery, he deliberately makes it a game of rock-paper-scissors that they'd be guaranteed to win if they wanted to. He could've shut them down entirely if he didn't care, but he finds a middle ground of technically not agreeing outright while still letting the MC talk to him.

"The petty types of decisions that were best suited to be decided with randomness mattered little to me. "It was far more amusing to see who would use the advantage they had to win and who would be willing to take the loss, and why they seemed to do so. "At the bare minimum I'm not that much of a brat any longer. "As an adult, I use it mainly to get away with not making decisions of my own. Whoever is playing with me has the responsibility to win or lose because what they're up against is preordained. "I don't even need to choose which symbol my hand takes. It's easier that way."

Not that it means he's alright with it either. Baxter is already under the stress of planning a wedding in a matter of days and now has to deal with seeing the MC again, sometimes one-on-one. He doesn't want to be cruel to them, doesn't want things to be so difficult, nor did he want the MC to be "forced" to go with him to the bakery (on a suggestion he couldn't have known would lead to it), but that's what ends up happening.

"I'm not any less immature than I was five years ago, it seems. I've been incredibly rude to you, and that is inexcusable. "You're not unwelcome near me. Of course not. "However, I'm here to plan Jude and Scott's wedding. My priority is that only, and I don't want to get caught up in anything else. "There's no need to reminisce. I hope that's not insulting, it's honestly not meant to be a strike against your character. "You are a lovely person and have many wonderful friends. You don't need me to be an active part of your life."

"I apologize for what happened between us, I honestly do regret it. "I am sorry I hurt you. I am sorry I was unable to keep my word and have bothered you yet again. "I'm thoroughly humiliated and have attempted to get in your way as little as possible. Though I'm unable to quit outright; I couldn't do that to Jude and Scott. "We are both aware that I am fully incapable of making you happy. But in four days you'll return to your life blissfully free of my presence in it. "Please tell me, what can I do for you? I simply don't know…"

It feels terrible for him, but this is the cycle he's gotten himself into: wanting to stick to what he'd done in Step 3 under the belief that the MC would be better off without him, feeling nostalgic for the past to the point where it ends up coming out, behaving distantly as a result and hating himself for it, then apologizing just to do it all over again because he's constantly going against what he actually wants.

"Every time I'm arrogant enough to believe I know what I'm doing and that I'm in control- I don't and I'm not."

"From the moment you walked into that restaurant, my actions were nothing but self-preservation and damage control and, occasionally, reminiscing to an extent I was pleased with. "Yes, I had a 'professional commitment' not to let personal matters impede the work that needed to be done, but my distancing went far beyond that. "In the end, I was using their marriage as an excuse. "If not for that, then there would have been something else. Some trivial reason for keeping you at arm's length. That likely doesn't shock you."

Baxter is essentially shielding his heart from the very thing that would protect him from his own attacks on it. He goes so far that he considers texting the MC directly to be overstepping boundaries (even if it's for work), all after continuing to let go the most whenever he's reminded of times with the MC.

He's aware that he's attached and readily admits as much when it comes time to.

"Even I can admit I wouldn't do this for every client. "And somehow, that makes this worse. It's painfully obvious I have some personal investment, enough to merit this. "More than I intended to be. More than I ought to have. "I wouldn't have done this if you weren't here… "Even though Miranda was the client's sister- "I wouldn't have offered. It'd be overreaching, to do as much as I have. "I've gone beyond the line of pure professionalism more than once already. The cake is the icing on top."

"Well, naturally, it's against my better judgment to make anyone uncomfortable. "Of course, in such a tight spot Jude wouldn't have questioned any help he was offered. "But what would Miranda have thought? And Terry as well? If some strange man they knew long ago was getting that personally involved in their situation? "I wouldn't have crossed that line, no matter how much sympathy I had for Jude's position. "So, where did my confidence come from? Very simply- I thought you would understand. "That I had good intentions, that the odd lengths I went to was merely how I am, that it was okay to let me be involved. And if you did understand, everyone else would as well."

Deep down, he knows that he is not a stranger; that he knows the MC and trusts them on a level deeper than he thought possible before meeting them. The MC brings out the best in him while simultaneously revealing the most vulnerable parts of himself to himself, which gives him all forms of conflicting emotions.

"I… "It's odd, really. I'm the one who left. "And yet I haven't stopped seeing you as someone important to me. Important in my life. "It truly does seem as though everything I did was for no reason at all."

"It's been hard not to feel nostalgic, this past week. We've had quite a stroll down memory lane. Sometimes by happenstance, sometimes because I went out of my way to do so. "I have… fond memories of those days in Sunset Bird. Treasured memories. "Like most treasures, they're things to be taken out and admired from time to time, and then put away again. "Though, some are too delicate for even that. They should never be touched. "This evening is a reprise of something I never wished to relive."

To put it in another way, though Baxter cherishes the time he spent with the MC, anything that brings him back to such times confront him with everything he's tried to avoid.

Yearning for the things he'd tried to put behind him, the what ifs of things going differently, and the doubts of all he's done thus far based on his own conclusions...

"Back then, during my tourist phase, we took that brief trip to the mountains. On a hike, we passed a tree that had fallen across a stream. "If you can picture that, it was as if we were on opposite sides, and I couldn't take the path to you because it looked risky."

Not unlike his fear of the ocean, Baxter's biggest hurdle is that final step past the point of no return: taking the plunge and trusting in his ability to survive.

"It seems endlessly deep and unpredictable, with powerful waves and rapid currents. "And there are creatures lurking in there. Some of them are larger than me. It's unfathomable. You don't play with something like that. "If I enter that water, I'll never return from it. The ocean will swallow me whole. That's what I think."

It's only by the end of the wedding reception that he finally crosses that line and has the epiphany necessary to deal with everything that had happened: the opening of the oven to check the result of a baked cake rather than leaving it a mystery, the flick of the switch to look at a room he'd always kept in darkness prior, and the throwing of himself into deep water and realizing he can still breathe.

"In the past, I spent every moment around other people thinking of the limited span of our acquaintance. As if I wasn't seeing them at all, only the imminent departure. "Our arrangements fell in line with that. A clear timeframe, limited from the outset; predetermined rules set in stone. "It was that way five years ago. It was that way now. "We'd cooperate for a short period in service of Scott and Jude's wedding, and that would be that. I've said as much myself. More than once. "The problem is, as I only recently realized… "I forgot about that. "You see, I thought, completely and earnestly, that I didn't need to speak with you now, here, when I was feeling so… sensitive. "We could simply pick up where we left off later tonight or tomorrow. The fact that we no longer had a 'reason' to interact didn't come up as part of the consideration."

When he wasn't the one setting the rules, when he was the one caught off guard by someone he cared so much about reappearing into his life, when he was forced back into reliving past regrets and under the pressure of facing them all over again when their second/third time together was over, that ended up being when he found what he needed to talk to the MC. That was when he finally had to listen to what his heart was saying rather than constantly denying himself.

Perhaps even most importantly, that was when he had to face the fact that what he did - the suffering he put himself through for five years - had achieved nothing of value, and it's only through acknowledging it that he can keep it from happening again.

"When I left five years ago, that didn't make me happy. When I kept you at arm's length after meeting again, I was unhappy still. "If it doesn't need to be that way, if I was wrong, then… I don't know, honestly. I've never considered it a viable option until moments ago."

"It had been so long since I'd known what it was like to be included, to be around people who'll refuse to let you be left out, no matter how hard you try to weasel out of it. "Terry, Miranda, and Cove were too kind, but it was your gestures specifically that are at the heart of this matter. "Here's the truth: if you didn't ask me to dance again, in the afterhours of another event we helped create like you did then, it would have broken my heart. "That would mean definitively that I lost what we had. "But… if you did ask it would be more painful. Because that would mean- "It would mean even after everything, you hadn't let me go. That you accepted me still. "That you always would have, that I should've believed that all along, that the only thing I've done was hurt you and myself of my own accord. "It's horrible. I didn't want to know one way or the other."

The uncomfortable truth, a placating lie, or the blissful void of not knowing anything at all: those were the choices he had and he finally chose the uncomfortable truth, all for the closure the MC deserves and the potential prospect of a better future if he can only make it past the obstacles he'd set up for himself.

"But I can see now that I'm also wrong for making another decision for you. Even if the conversation went disastrously, you were owed a better explanation and an apology. "You had never asked me to leave you alone, I created that fiction. "I hope you can accept that I did care for you then- I care now. Of course, as ever, none of it counts for much if it's kept entirely to oneself."

"It's… a little hard to approach what I've sowed over the years. So many mistakes. "And even now, when I hope to make things right, to make things last, I'm forced to admit that I'm ignoring the reality of the situation. "This doesn't come down to what I want at all. I don't have the right to put myself before you. I never did."

"I suppose that is the true story of my life: me not understanding a thing and getting it all wrong at every turn. "But rather than dancing around this, I'll say it directly: not trying to stay in touch with you is something I've regretted for a long time. "I will always regret the days I lost, even now that we've reconnected."

That doesn't mean everything is magically fixed, nor that he won't fall into some old habits. He has to catch himself when he automatically excludes himself from the MC's meeting with their moms, and he'll still be apologizing and criticizing himself long after the MC has forgiven him.

"You've never allowed me to wallow in my misery, except for when you had to. When I made you have to because you couldn't get a hold of me. "But when I see you, I'm reminded of what it is like to be seen. "How it feels to have someone who knows you, cares about you, has memories with you, who wants to make more memories together. "And I tried to undo that- "Twice. By keeping you as far away from me as I could."

"Unfortunately, I've yet to think of a good reason why this admission isn't another of my patently bad ideas. It isn't as though I've been thoughtful in return. "I can't stand doing anything in the morning, even if I can pretend to, for my clients. As you know, I can't afford elaborate trips these days. "My only remaining social contacts are limited to the wedding industry, not performative theatre or owners of fancy cars or the like. "I've never been a good partner, even a good friend, to anyone who has crossed my path."

"My few victories were hollow and I'm still sorry I took that out on you at the start of this."

Nevertheless, he has no desire to run away from the MC now, because he never had a desire to run in the first place. He just needed to understand that it was okay to want, and that he wasn't the worthless person he thought he was so he could stop projecting how he felt about himself onto how people feel about him.

This makes way for Baxter to experience a lot of things that most people would have long since had at that point in their lives: he gets excited simply by having a person hanging out at his house, is incredibly pleased to have someone he can be (dance) with, and he's so amazed that he can have these things in his life that he's actively eager to prove to the MC how much he'll be sticking around, to the point of being ready to visit them at the soonest time possible.

"Hallelujah. Admittedly, a part of me was convinced I wouldn't go through with it. What if you thought I had lost my mind to follow you right after we barely reestablished a connection? "But having this last day together, knowing it was the last, was the final push to pursue what I actually wanted."

His story, essentially, is about a fall from issues of self-centeredness just to pendulum swing into ones of self-worth instead. It's about balancing on a tightrope of bringing short bursts of happiness to others while trying not to let his ego take hold of him again. It's about denying himself what he wants and refusing to hear otherwise before finally recognizing that he deserves to be happy.

That's Baxter Ward.

TL;DR:

Baxter starts as an egotistical child - encouraged by his rich parents and the kids constantly impressed by his showing off - but that changes when he obtains genuine friends and learns the value of real relationships.

Realizing that he'd relied only on what his parents had to make connections with people, Baxter doubts his own worth as a person and is unable to imagine that people would feel differently about him than he feels about himself.

Baxter falls out with his friends due to the age gap and not having time for each other, coming to the conclusion that he'd not done anything for them.

Under the belief that he has no inherent long-term value, Baxter goes on flings and seeks to create fun moments with people rather than anything that would require revealing more of himself than he feels is attractive to others; this has the side effect of making him highly critical of himself over even minor mistakes.

Baxter goes to Sunset Bird meets the MC, who (along with the MC's friends) makes him feel a sense that he might actually be someone important to others, which he then actively tries to convince himself out of due to fear of risks/the unknown.

After leaving the MC on no contact, Baxter continues to miss them, but feels like he would only bother them further if he saw them again even if it were just to apologize.

Baxter ends up seeing the MC again in his Step 4 and is confronted thusly by his unfading feelings. This leads him to try and maintain the distance he'd created in an attempt to protect himself, yet he's unable to keep himself from letting loose every now and then because it goes against what his heart wants to push the MC away.

Though horrified by the idea that what he'd done in the past might have been a mistake and preferring (at the start) to go on without knowing, Baxter ultimately reflects on his actions and acknowledges to himself why he's been doing what he's been doing, and that he doesn't want to let the MC go again without laying everything on the table.

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

Headcanon - Helluva Boss / Hazbin Hotel Crossover

But not in the way you think.

----------------

Basic concepts:

You have Angel Dust who was Mafia and hated it, esp bc of his dad

Alastor who loves to take out the nastier elements and clearly killed his dad for being a bastard.

Charlie who is full of sunshine and misguided dreams

And then you have IMP

------------------

Maybe Crimson and his goons get Moxxie cornered somewhere, and it catches the attention of Alastor, who was following up on the whole ''Mimzy situation'' from a few months prior now the extermination is over.

Millie is caught in an electrified net, they want her Alive to punish for the whole wedding debacle. 'That fuckin broad killed all my guys, she needs to learn her place' said the macho mafioso from behind like 40 armed guards the little cretin.

Blitzo is contending with Striker, who is playing best friends with Crimson right now.

Loona… well she WAS right there, but something caught her interest on one of the nearby shopfront screens, where it will turn out Vox was playing games with the minds of viewers again.

--

Alastor had been passing the area, mostly to make a point of still being alive to Vox as he saunters past the stronghold, when things began to explode around him. Which, honestly, not unusual.

However, when peering into the smouldering crater of several buildings and storefronts, it was clear a rather nasty altercation was in progress. 

“What the FUCK?” comes a familiar voice, as Angel Dust appears at his left shoulder. Those sharp eyes had snapped alert and were roving the scene for information as that third pair of arms materialised, tommy guns and all.

Ah yes, the other reason for this whole foray was a request from Charlotte to pick up the adult entertainer, as some of his fans had been getting rather… unable to understand boundaries as of late. And as someone who could enforce them in an eldritch manner, Alastor seemed a positive choice.

Only because Husk was overly sensitive when it came to Angel's protection and would fight anyone anywhere if they looked at him funny; Niffty wouldn’t differentiate between good and bad interactions; Vaggie was a bit twitchy to be a bodyguard right now; Lucifer didn’t do public real well right now; Charlie didn’t want to go near Vee HQ for a while… and let’s face it, Alastor was going to go there anyway to upset the television demon. 

Not normally one to meddle in others’ affairs… hah! Can you imagine? 

No, Alastor was going to get in there and have a look, but he sent his shadow to scout it out first… the goons definitely looked like the ones Mimzy had brought to the hotel a while back, but then there were a lot of sharklike hellborn, and he wasn’t going to be accused of racism by slaughtering wholesale (under these circumstances).

From up close, you could see the little lapel pins clearly, and yes… those were definitely the hellborn he was after.

“Why, my dear Angel Dust, would you care to join me in some tomfoolery? They appear to be related to the mooks who decided to ‘run up on our turf’, as they say. Do you require any rizzing before the battle?”

Angel just about got whiplash from that one. “Okay, who the FUCK is teaching you these terms and why? I thought I was hallucinating when you said 'Fs in chat for the king's sense of tste' this morning when Short King was putting more syrup than pancake on his plate. But you just-... what the-...

Never mind, we’re gonna fix your old timey ass’s vocabulary when we get back t’the hotel. But yeah, I’m always down for a quick bang sesh…” He winked lasciviously. Laughing at the eye roll he received.

They advance on the unsuspecting fools.

Charlie was NOT going to be pleased.

“MILLIE!” comes the agonised cry of a small dapperly-dressed imp being pinned to the ground by sharklike hellborn several times his weightclass. Blood drips from a gash across the temple as he struggles to free himself.

A female imp is fighting to free herself from an all-encompassing mesh net that sparked violently, her muscles fighting against her from the shocks. “M-Moxxie, I’m fine! Pr-omise!” 

“Oh you little daddyfucker, I’m gonna rip your goddamn horns off and shove them up HIS ass!” Blitzo yelled, firing wildly at Crimson between dodging fists from Striker. “Loona, Looney-Petuney where are you?!”

“Oh shut yer holes, ya fuckin’ whore. You think I don’t know that ya banging that blue-blood? Is that any kinda example for you to set for my son? He’s already a weak waste of space, and that’s before we get t’the limp-wristed part… but you certainly ain’t helping.”

“Do-Don’t listen t’him honey, you’re perfect as y’are!” Millie yells, she’s managed to tear a few threads with her claws, but the smell of burning flesh is ever present.

“Yeah, I’m the only Daddy you need!” Blitzo calls back, pauses as he rethinks the statement, and adds, “I mean, daddy-ish figure, but we can negotiate if you and Millie ever wanna-... ow, would you stop fucking biting me? I’m trying to have a meaningful emotional moment here with my bangable employees?!”

“Hey now, you little traitor… I think you’d best give me a little more of that attention. Got a score to settle with you after that last mess you left me with. Gonna make you a new hole, and if you’re nice… I might just fill it for ya.” Striker snarls, lunging with a blade outstretched. 

“Oh fuck you, can’t you go back to the horse thing? That was at least a little sexy.”

“ENOUGH!” Crimson shouts, firing off at Blitz who can’t dodge both blade and bullet, resulting in the projectile hurling him several feet down the alley in a bloody mess. “Now, I’ve had about enough of this whole fucking mess you’ve made for me, boy… every moment you draw breath you’re bringing shame t’The Family and I can’t be having that. There’s time for me to start again, make a better brat… but you know the sayin, ‘out with the old...'".

He cocks the gun. “Say hello t’ya mother for me.”

Someone is screaming his name as the barrel comes sharply into focus... and that’s when Crimson’s hurled several feet away into what was once a solid brick wall. 

“What the FUCK?”

“Hahaha! Why hello, what’s happening here then?” comes a too-loud, violently cheerful and utterly spine chilling voice. “My, my... you see, my associate and I couldn’t help but overhear the ruckus and came over to investigate! I’d advise you not to move an inch, if you would, for my friend here has excellent aim and I find bullet-riddled meat so tediously chewy.”

Crimson got a full look at the tall red fucker getting in his business, and blanched at the sight.

Two male sinners stood there backlit by fire, smoke and the sparking neon lights of the city. The pink one had to be eight feet fucking tall with six arms, sporting a definite scowl just as sharply as he held two tommy guns that appeared to be of Carmine make.

The red one, that freak was smiling rigidly as black tendrils extended from his back… his own hands bare of any weapon.

With a click of those talons her calls fingers, akin to the sound of bone breaking, the electricity that had been surging through the net wrapped about Millie ceases completely. The voltage fizzling out.

With a sharp grin, Crimson fires off a round at the red one, confident smirk falling to a snarl as the Sinner didn’t do more than roll with the impact to his shoulder. “Who the fuck are you? This ain’t your business… get outta here.”

“Why, Angel… someone who hasn’t seen your various portfolio of work! How truly unusual... shall I alert the media?" The red one croons, eyes going black with red… dials? Were those dials? Appearing in the depths.

“Heh, well that makes like four people in all’a Hell… so I think my hit rate is better than miss.” 

“Indeed! Well, well, well, to answer your question I am Alastor, pleasure to meet you, truly a pleasure! And this is Angel Dust, infamous adult entertainer and excellent marksman, so do try to run… I rather enjoy seeing how far fear can get you before he blows your head off.” There’s a pause as this Alastor turns to Angel. “Do at least try to hold in the innuendo, I can sense it on the tip of your tongue…”

“You know what else could be on the tip’a my tongue…?” 

“Hah! Save it for your talkies, my dear fellow… now, where were we? Ah yes, dealing with this unpleasant creature. First and foremost, I have been looking for whichever fool decided to send his little puppets after my dear friend Mimzy and ended up damaging our lovely hotel.”

“What? Mi-... HER? That fuckin’ bitch? She stole so much shit, killed a dozen’a my guys and ran off with the goods she was supposed ta move in this damn ring. You sayin’ I should just forgive and forget you fucking freak?”

“Oooh,” Angel made a show of hissing between his sharp teeth in faux sympathy. “Yeah, so Radio Daddy ain’t like it when you talk about his friends like that…”

“Too true, and-... you know, we need to talk about the increasingly bizarre nicknames you keep creating. Anyhow, secondly, well… we’re nosy little altruists slash sadistic brawlers who love a spot of bloodshed, who rather dislike when the powerful are mistreating those below. Especially when a father is threatening the life of their child, little mobster, right in front of Sinners who have a distinct distaste for it.”

“Wait, are you the fucker that ATE my guys? The goddamn Radio Demon? Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?!”

“Well, I assume that in general I am god-dammned, but I don’t think he did it personally…” muses Alastor, while Angel Dust stifles a laugh. “Still, I don’t appreciate when a friend or even a thrall is targeted. Torture and murder are fine things, but in moderation my good imp, you can’t do this willy nilly, yeeting bodies hither and yon, that is simply cringe of you.”

Angel was going to die again if this didn’t stop. He was trying so hard to keep a straight face. Who the fuck was teaching him these phrases?

“We don’t really get along with those who pick on those weaker than them, or their kids, especially not whatever the fuck this is. And dontcha do the whole ‘for the Family’ bullshit with me, bub, ‘cause I literally lived and died that life already. Willing to go a lot further now I can regenerate, but you can’t…” Angel advises, his eyes tracking more goons sliding out of the shadows.

“Cute little ambush, all looming out of the shadows like that. Think you’re forgetting who owns them, huh? Al, you want ‘em or can I shoot ‘em?”

A rather satirical sounding waltz began as the shadows about the encroaching creatures hardened, locking them in places. “Do have your fun, Angel, I will see to this situation over here first… join when you have a moment!”

Bullets sprayed through immobilised bodies for a few seconds. ��Hey, actually, can y’let some run, I’ve been meaning to test my range since the Extermination and well, the Hotel ain’t got no range.”

“Of course, the idea is quite based… pookie.” 

Angel nearly shot a flying demon out of the sky as he turned around abruptly, his heart thundering from the strain of this weird interaction. Was he still high? Did he stand too close to Val during that last shoot? 

“Your toys are escaping, which is a Big Yikes, bestie. This discussion is for another time. Assuming I ever decide to tell you. Now, are you Gucci?”

“Y-yeah I’m Gucci. But seriously, who the fuck is sliding you slang under the damn table, is it Rosie? Charlie wouldn’t. You and the King are fighting too often for it, so who the fu-...?!”

This was starting to feel like a fever dream.

“Nevermind that, my good fellow, see to your targets. Now, I am going to count to three and everyone will take their hands, tentacles and other appendages off of one another or I’m coming over there!”

He sighs and rolls his eyes at the sudden burst of giggles from Angel Dust, and apparently a rather tall imp that was bleeding a few feet away. “Do try to contain yourselves. One… Two… Two and a half…”

Sharklike demons hurled themselves from their place atop the littlest demon, who crawled over to the one in the net. Crimson rolled upright to take a step towards them, but found his way impeded by an inky black tendril.

“Millie, are you okay? How badly are you hurt?” Moxie gasps, untangling her and not really noticing the small shadowy hands that helped until she was free. He jolts backwards, shocked, but returns to his wife immediately.

“I-I’m fine, Mox, nothing that won’t heal. You need t’go help Blitz, I think I saw that fucker Stryker over there get a shot in.”

“This little fellow?” Asks the figure who looms over them, with the reptillian ensnared in a tentacle, snarling furiously at being held upside down.

“Fucking Sinners always think they’re too good for the likes’a us and you sell-outs do whatever they damn want, as long as they pay. Ain’t nothin’ but a buncha whores…” snarls the cowboy.

Somewhere in the distance, a familiar theme song starts as the cowboy frees himself momentarily, grinning brightly as if he was in control of the situation. It fades as Alastor tilts his head and snaps the music out of existence. 

“Oh really, I’ve heard of people being quite full of themselves without cause, but to have your own theme song feels somewhat… masturbatory. You should really try something with a little more life, like Jazz. Now, what to do with you?”

With another snap, a portal full of tendrils appears, immobilising both Crimson and Striker.

“Would anyone have any suggestions? I do enjoy listener participation, don’t be afraid to call in your ideas now.”

“Oh I have a few ideas, but they’re mostly around how deep you can get those tentacles if I ask. However, in lieu of that, your up-tight-i-ness how about you maybe rip a few limbs off and we’ll see what’s left of old Stryker here, huh? He’s been bragging about his plans to kill Overlords and Goetia for like, fuckin’ forever and it’s so annoying!” Blitz interjects, grinning coldly at the now-sweating cowboy.

“You intended to kill Overlords, little one? Hmmm? Have you ever actually seen one up close?” Alastor’s grin widened, the dial eyes spinning as he took note of the angelic blade tucked into the cowboy’s belt. “Would you like to…?”

And with that, he expanded to a far larger form, drinking in the fear that exuded from the previously cocksure one. With a casual swipe, a few remaining shark demons were scooped into his mouth like the morsels they were. Stryker was plucked carefully up to stare at those wide eyes.

“Do feel free to scream, it makes an excellent accompaniment to the next song.” He encourages, before plucking off one of the man’s arms and tossing it carelessly away. One of the imp’s legs was next. Alastor dropped him back to the pavement, stunning the fool, as a tendril snagged that blade free from the would-be assassin.

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuck me, that was HOT! Sir, I am absolutely hard as fuck right now for that tentacle shit, what can I-... I mean, WE at IMP do to thank you for that little show.” 

Alastor was caught off guard by the sentiment, and laughed as he shrank down.

“No need, my good man. There was an opportunity to pummel two drones with a single stone, and I don’t like to waste such little miracles.”

“Well, he sure looks fucked up… you want to see him do a little jig?” Angel offers, hefting the guns suggestively. The sinner returning to the small gathering covered in blood splatter and grinning wildly. Alastor cannot help but feel that some of the mirth is due to Angel overhearing the uh, offer, provided by the Imp and his compatriots.

“No, I think I’d like to see him bleed out right here after all the shit he’s caused us, Mr Dust. Also would you sign something for us? It’ll have pride of place in the office, promise.”

“Hell yeah I will, always happy to meet a fan… or fans, plural? Either way, nice ta see ya.”

Angel pulls out a small slightly crumpled poster from his pocket, and scrawls on it. Say what you will, the man was always prepared to run into a fan… that’s also what the taser in his other pocket was for, if they got too close for firefighting. 

“Hey, you fuckers best not ignore me! Do you know who I am? I’m fucking Crimson, head of the-... mmmpgh?!” 

“I think you’d best be silent now.” The Radio Demon’s neck did something impossible to stare at him. “Crimson, is it? I do not believe there is a single person in this entire area who particularly cares if you live or die right this moment,  and while I would love to guest star you on my broadcast… the sins of the father should be weighed by the son, don’t you think?”

Angel knelt next to Moxxie, Millie and the still bleeding Blitz. 

“Alright, I know it can be a big decision to take ya dad out… especially when he’s been a bastard to ya your whole life up til now, but if ya not ready then Al can always drop him into one of those little weird-ass pocket dimensions of his until you are.”

“I-... thank you, sirs, but… why are you helping us?” Moxie asked, feeling very small and exhausted right now.

“Hey, my family was in the damn mob when I was alive and they never approved’a my lifestyle… I know what it’s like ta have someone you’re supposed to trust try to beat you down in every way imaginable. Just lucky that I got the chance to watch him die by my own hands ‘fore I did!” Angel laughed, the sound delightfully cruel. He pokes Alastor. “Hey, tell him the thing, give him some confidence to make a choice…”

“Very well, but only because this whole situation has a strange frequency to it… oddly familiar in a detestable manner.” The Radio Demon responds. “Moxxie, was it? Normally I would compel you with a deal to keep this secret, but given that blasted Vox has been watching this whole time, it will likely not remain so even with one. The truth of it is that the crimes my own father committed were numerous and violent over his lifetime, using the power he was afforded at birth to do so to anyone considered beneath him… but in the end, he was simply a mortal man who could beg for his life as his blood drained into the bayou. And again as I shredded his soul into my broadcast. We will not tell you what to do with this piece of rotten meat, but his life is yours to judge… do let me know if you require a specific weapon.”

“...at this point, Mox, I think you could use my dick as a bludgeon, this is so fuckin’ hot!” Blitz muttered, expression joyful. 

“Wh… why is it always… sex with you people…?” Stryker huffed out, exhaling low and long as the life left him. 

“Okay, now THAT was kinda hot.” Millie admits, and Moxxie laughs, nuzzling her face. She’s badly injured, but neither sinner can fix that level of harm. They’d need help.

With a deep breath, Moxie pulled out his gun. The very one Blitz had gifted him after his first proper kill at IMP, that he’d scrawled their names into the handle of when no one was looking. Millie would love it, Loona would roll her eyes and Blitz would say something that was masking his affection. 

“Dad, I thought I was clear the last time we ran into one another in Greed, that I don’t want or need you in my life and your absence makes me happy. I hate that you killed Mum, I hate that you tried to hurt Millie and Blitz and force me to marry my asshole ex just cause he had money, but I especially fucking hate that at no point in your entire fucking life did you ever think to take responsibility for the awful shit you’ve done. And I’m tired of always wondering when you’re going to put a gun to my head, or poison me, or hurt someone I care about just to force me to be like you… alone, cruel and miserable. I like who I am, and what I do, and those around me. So I guess what I’m trying to say, is… go fuck yourself, Crimson.”

The bullet imploded the front of the mob boss’s face, tearing through to the other side in a shower of delightful gore. 

“Way to go MOX!” Blitz shouted, punching the air with the hand not attached to his bloody shoulder. “Fuck yes, I knew you could do it! Best way to solve daddy issues is to just fuckin’ kill ‘em!”

“I’m so proud of you, Honey!” Millie smiled, her eyes filled with tears of joy, and her posture deliberately still in order to minimise how much pain she was exhibiting. “You did it!”

“I-... I-... wow.” He felt amazing! He was gonna throw up! He was going to fuck everyone here! He was going to cry! Fuck, what was this?

“Take a deep breath, it’s gonna feel fuckin’ weird for a bit, and you might even get sad about the old bastard for a while, but that’s normal.” Angel comforts, resting a hand on the imp’s shoulder. “I even missed my fucker of a father a few days after, but it passes. Promise.”

“Why yes, it definitely will, dear. Did you want anything specific done with the bodies, or shall I ask my Shade to drop them off to dearest Rosie, she likes unusual flavours best. Hard to get around here, though.” 

“I-...what? Oh, yeah… might as well not let it go to waste.” Moxie waves a hand. 

The dual corpses of Stryker and Crimson are swallowed by shadow, leaving nothing but traces of blood upon the ground before them.

“Well, this has been a fuckin’ weird day… who wants tacos? And where’s Loona? LOONEY-PETUNEY WHERE ARE YOU?” 

“Well, it’s nice ta meetcha all, but I have ta say you guys look like shit right now. What say you come back to the Hazbin Hotel with us and we’ll sweet talk the staff into giving a little healing to ya.”

“Oh, the hotel! I heard something about it on the television, and the exterminations that happened recently. Didn’t you guys win?”

“We sure fuckin’ did, Toots! Lost a few people too, but… we took down that shitlord Adam, which actually required the King to get in the ring to deal with after he targeted Charlie. Uh, I mean, Princess Charlotte, who runs the place.”

“You know the Princess? I’ve always wanted to… meet her…” Millie’s excitement couldn’t eclipse her pain any further and she was starting to pale. As was Blitz, but he was busy striding through the wreckage towards the few undamaged shopfronts there where a number of citizens still waited despite the obvious danger.

“Loona? Are you okay? What the FUCK is happening here?!”

“Ah. Vox has her and the others bespelled by one of his tacky little commercials, one moment…” Rapping his staff against the screen display, Alastor whistles and the pixels distort. “Oh Podcast, are you in there? Do let these toys go… the product you are selling is already ash, or were you too busy acting quite the voyeur to the little event to notice?”

Electricity crackled out of the screen and shaped into a familiar overlord.

“AL-... I mean, Al, what the fuck was that? You and Val’s little whore interjecting in random shit for, what? The hell of it? Ugh, of course you would so fucking reckless. What did you want again?”

“For you to release the trapped crowd, they are likely to be immolated shortly, and I need to borrow one for the hotel. Aren’t you bold to question my motives… I know what you were doing in that little control tower of yours, watching us fight. Such a perverse little thing you are…” 

“I’ll let them go if you make a deal with me…?”

“Vox, I was merely informing you of the choice to voluntarily remove your influence or I would break it by myself, to give you the chance to make the right choice. What could you possibly offer me?”

“Must you be such a condescending old-t1111m33y prick? Fine. But that’s for… the entertainment value alone. I’d be willing to wheel and deal bigger if you ever wanted to go on that da-...”

“This will suffice, thank you Podcast.”

With a grumble, Vox hurled himself into a nearby camera.

Dazed sinners and hellborn staggered slightly as their minds came back to them.

Loona found herself nearly hurled to the ground by the force of Blitz’s frantic hug. 

“Looney-petuny! Oh thank Satan you’re okay!” 

“Dad? What happened? I was just looking at the TV and then-...?”

“Rots the brain, dear. Try not to look at the idiot box too often. Now come along, we need to be going to the Hotel, where we should be able to fetch medical aid for your father and the others. Come along.” The jovial tone was a tad forced, as the pair of Hellborn trailed after the Radio Demon, reuniting with the others.

“Come now, I think it would be best to shadow travel there… but some of you may not take to it well given your current states. Hmmm, there’s nothing for it, Angel if you would be so kind as to carry one of our new compatriots, I can come up with options for the others.”

Angel scooped up Blitz and held him in his tertiary arms, one of his primary hands was pressing a red handkerchief on the bullet wound. If anyone had a little tingle of thrill from the experience, they didn’t mention it to the other.

With deliberate care, Alastor’s tendrils slipped about the parts of Millie that seemed least deep fried, and laced about like a sling. She was drawn close to hover over an arm. There in case of unforeseen discorporation of the tendrils, but not touching. She was shivering in discomfort, so they would need to speed this up.

“Miss Loona, would you be so kind as to carry this fellow? If you don’t feel able, I can definitely try something else… I know Vox’s little eye trick can make one feel quite shook, and it can hit different for everyone.” Alastor said, enjoying seeing multiple eye twitches from Angel Dust.

He pauses, thinking of how best to phrase this kindly so as not to offend a lady, as his mother would burst out of heaven to kill him again if he should try. “And… would you mind remaining on the furthermost side of Angel Dust as we travel?”

“Whoa, hey, you prejudiced against hellhounds? I take back my erection for you earlier!” Blitz yells, and that just about short-circuits Alastor. It certainly was the cause of several exploding neon signs across the way.

Loona growls at him.

He blinks. “What? No, not at all… it has to do with my death, and being torn apart by hunting dogs, ha hah! I suspect dear Charlotte will try to ‘fix it’ for me when she discovers that little tidbit… but until her majesty forces us all through psychotherapy, this will have to do. If you are amenable?”

“Ugh, yikes dude… I totally get it. I’ll be over here… line of sight and all.” There was a pause. “I uh, I think your show is kinda cool, in a retro way though…” 

“Splendid dear, I will have my shadow show you the Radio Tower if you so choose when we get back. Once we get to know one another, why, I may even be able to show you a few of the dances I often speak about… dancing today is too tame, we used to really throw one another around in the old days. All about trust!” 

“Don’t let Char-Char hear ya say that or we’ll all be doing the Lindey Hop for next month’s group thing. Ugh… I mean, it’s been ages since I did that, and I’m pretty sure having more arms’ going to complicate things.”

“Nonsense, Angel! If Vox could do it with his balance impediment, you should be more than capable… not that I particularly care for the details of your profession, but I understand a high level of strength, dexterity and flexibility are required for at least the dancing portion. If you have mastery of that, then who knows!”

“Aw, thanks Al! That’s actually really encouraging… I used to like the weird social dancing shit we got up to back then. Ugh, we’re getting all nostalgia-y and I feel like someone’s gonna ‘Ok Boomer’ me.”

“Hah, I actually was but you beat me to the punch!”

“You have to fuckin’ spill the beans on who is feeding you this terminology, if only for my mental health, man…”

“Hmmm, no. I think I’ll keep that to myself. Come along now everyone, only a few more blocks and we’ll be in range of help. How about something soothing?”

Soft jazz plays as the strange sight strides through town. 

And so the bizarre sight of two sinners, a hellhound and three injured imps arrived upon the doorstep of the Hazbin Hotel that afternoon. Causing quite the stir as Charlie opened the doors to the chaotic sight.

“Welcome Ho-ooooooooly Shit, what happened?!” Charlie’s brilliant beam dropped immediately, and then Vaggie was there, spear to hand. She aimed it at Alastor out of instinct, and dropped it a second later as she saw the injured imp in his, well not arms but tendrils at the very least.

“Good afternoon dear Charlotte, Vagatha, could we trouble you for some first aid for these delightful new companions? I was just out tracking down the source of those mobsters from a while back, the ones Mimzy brought of course, and we ran into a troubling family situation that needed some intervention unfortunately.”

“And which one did you make a deal with in order to give such compassionate consideration, hmmm?” Vaggie growled. 

“Why, none. Dearest Vagatha, can you not trust your hotelier after all this time?” he teased, and she grumbled something quite derogatory, but her eyes were on the Wrath Imp in his charge. “Do we have anything that can effectively treat electrocution burns?”

Husk was already halfway down the stairs with a first aid kit from the second floor, it was a tad fancier than the one in the lobby. 

It thudded violently when it hit the countertop, clicking open to dispense a number of wipes and pads to help at least clean the grime from the wounds first.

“Niff, we might need ya to sew up these guys, can ya come out?” Husk called, aiming for the ceiling vent that the little demoness popped out of. With a snap of Alastor’s fingers, she was cleaned of all soot and grime, sterilised magically.

“Heheheheheeee, where? Where?! I have my threads!”

“One moment while we clean and assess the wounds, dear.” he pauses, thinking and ultimately grimacing to the best of his ability, ears flattening. “Charlotte my dear, would your father be about this hotel today? I fear he may be the only one with the ability to help miss… Millie, I believe her name is.”

“What? Oh, yes! Yes he’s in his room! Vaggie, would you…?”

“Of course, babe, you know I can get them by hook or by crook and all that.”

“Soooooo… Alastor, Angel Dust, would you mind telling me what happened?” Charlie asks in a very subtle and convincing way. 

“Al came to pick me up from my job, and we ran inta a few citizens in need of support… that’s all. These guys are Moxxie, that’s Blitz, that one’s Millie and I’m pretty sure the badass hellhound over there’s name is Loona. See, Mox’s dad was tryna’ kill him, and well, Al and I thought that wasn’t good enough. So we stepped in.”

Charlie’s expression went through the full gamut from horrified to hopeful to concerned and chucked a uey to go back to hopeful. “You tried to help someone? Just because? Oooooh, I am so proud of you both!”

“Ah… I mean, it was a bit fun to shoot someone again, and Al ate a few guys but it wasn’t too bad overall.”

Charlie wasn’t listening, she was shaking Moxxie’s hand and introducing herself to the overwhelmed sharpshooter as he waited his turn to be patched up. On a barstool nearby Husk was holding onto Blitz to steady the guy as Niffty’s tiny fingers carefully wiggled the bullet free of the wound, he seemed mildly blissed out by whatever had been provided for pain relief.

Alastor was near one of the couches, but had yet to release the imp, uncertain if the fabric would be of detriment to such wounds. For Sinners and especially Overlords, you needed to get clothing or other materials out of a wound relatively quickly before they started to heal over or you had to cut it out later. It was not clear to him if Imps had the same level of ability.

“Well, well, well, what have we here?” came a somewhat smug voice, as Blitz and Moxxie’s jaws collectively hit the floor. Lucifer fucking Morningstar appeared before them all from a portal, Vaggie climbing out after him, to surveil the chaotic scene. “Imps, huh? Been a while since I needed to heal any hellborn… so let's see what I can do. Hmmm, did you do this to her?”

Angry radio feedback blared across the room for a moment as Alastor glared at the King. “Why your Lowness, I understand your attention span is quite short, but do try to recall I do not utilise electricity in the same manner as that blasted picture box. Our dear Charlotte here was just mentioning that you may be the best option to assist young Miss Millicent here with her injuries… I am hoping that was the correct choice, or am I ‘delulu’?”

“I don’t know what that last word was but shut the fuck up, Al, so I can focus on healing. Ugh, you pompous piece of shi-...” 

“Dad, please, we talked about this! And Alastor, you are both important to me and I need you to get along especially now. Don’t make me point at the portrait of Sir Pentious and cry, because… you know… I will…” she was fighting back tears already, and both demons pulled back on their griping rapidly.

“Of course, Charlotte.”

“Anything for you duckling.”

Golden light permeated the room as Millie’s skin smoothed out, the rancid scent of burnt flesh subsided gently, and her tense muscles settled. She blinked her eyes open, and startled back as she ran into an unfamiliar and oddly angelic face.

“Hello there, nice to meet you I’m Lucifer.”

“The fuckin’ DEVIL?! Ooooh, my maw and paw are gonna be so jealous I met you, can we take a selfie?!”

“Uh, sure?”

They get one pic of alright quality before Moxxie launches himself over the couch to hug her, sobbing loudly. “Milliiiiiiiiiiiie, I was so worried! They hurt you and it was all my fault! Are you okay now?”

“Whoa whoa whoa, hold ya horses, that wasn’t ya fault. Sometimes your dad is just fucked up, that happens… and then you happen to ‘em in return.” Angel adds, grinning darkly.

Alastor places a hand on Charlotte’s shoulder. “Hmmm, indeed. Never too late to take the opportunity…” he glares at Lucifer, as Charlotte tenses. Then he bursts into laughter. “Or not, we’ve had QUITE the day and I believe that it might be best for these little fiends to rest here tonight before returning to their offices. Niffty and Husker, arrange that for us, will you?”

“Hold on, you arrogant deer asshole, I’m not done talking to you yet!” Lucifer yelled as he followed the other towards the kitchens. The door hadn’t slammed shut before loud banging, crashing and shouting stirred up with intriguing radio effects contrasting violently with the blinding gold light spilling out. 

“Uhhhhhhhhhgggg, Vaggie, can you…?”

“Again? Fine. Alright you two, I’m counting to three and coming in with my spear!”

She didn’t bother to count, thanks to experience, and kicked the doors in. “Okay, you-...” 

“Is uh, is she gonna be okay?” Moxie asks, concerned. 

“Hah, of course, they won’t hurt her… but she miiiiiight stab them a little if they don’t calm down.”

“Do they fight like this often or is this for our benefit?” Loona asks.

“No, welcome to the Hazbin Hotel where everyday involves soem form of fun, frivolity and felony at this point.” Husker interjects, amused clearly.

“Metal.”

“Please don’t encourage them!”

“...-ING TO CHARLIE?! SHE CARES ABOUT BOTH OF YOU, YOU SELFISH MO-... oh, uh, everything’s fine, honey!”

Forced out of the kitchen at spear point.

Golden and Crimson blood all over them, Lucifer trying to hide a handful of Alastor’s flesh behind his back.

“Dad! What the fuck?!”

“Hey, in my defence, I was trying to help get the bullet out, and the Bellhop wouldn’t cooperate. So I did it, I got it out. You’re welcome!”

“Excellent your Majesty… what would simply have healed over in an hour is now a nuisance for the rest of the day. Good show indeed. And how do you think it will impact Charlotte’s mental health if she sees us fighting? It can be detrimental to children's development you know.”

“Us fighti-... Charlotte is MY daughter, you pompous twit! She’s the picture of mental health because she knows we love her! So there!”

“Yes, I would say everyone at the hotel does, indeed.”

“Oh you slimy word-twisting snake!”

“No, deer actually. I thought you were the serpentine one in this establishment.”

“I sure fucking am, and if you don’t shut up, I’m going to bite you!”

“...okay, Boomer.” Laugh track.

Angel Dust breaks down in hysterics.

“What did you just say to me? What the fu-... Charlie, are you teaching him the hip lingo or something? Where did he-...?”

[More stuff about them interacting]

[nefaricussims]

My "Choices" Sims-ematic Universe

Many years ago, my friend got me into the app "Choices", which is one of those apps were you play through choose-your-own-adventure stories. Pixelberry's quality has decreased drastically in recent years but I'm still a big fan of their older works. I'm also a big fan of the Sims and CAS so over the years, I've grown a collection of Choices characters remade as Sims which I lovingly call my "Choices Cinematic Universe" (you know...like the marvel cinematic universe...) because they're all living in one save lmao.

I didn't think I would ever share these Sims here but people actually noticed I used Blades of Light and Shadow for the promo of this posepack and the lovely @simsillagrim asked me to share my other Choices Sims sooo here they are!

I didn't always make the whole cast of a book because, well, I only made my favourites lol. Some of these are from 2019 and some were made in the last year so the quality and likeness varies a LOT. I never said I was good at this. 😂 I'm also weird and couldn't decide whether to add MC, the default names or my own so expect a mix of all lmaoo.

Another important note is that 95% of the "It Lives" Sims were NOT made by me. They're made by the AMAZING @alltimefail-sims. I'll explain more when we get to them.

ANYWAY, let's finally start:

I think these were some of if not THE first Sims I made. You can tell by the kind of clothes I chose for some of them 💀 although I did slightly update them for this post. I only made my LIs and Diego & Varyyn because they're one of my favorite choices couples ever.

I cannot tell you how MANY times I've changed Edward. There's something about his face that I just cannot get right. 😭 I do like how my MC looks though. I'll forever mourn this book, it deserved a sequel. :((

Made them around the time I bought Horse Ranch bc duh. BSC was such a silly book, I loved it. And yes, I accidentally called my MC like a character in the book. It was hilarious.

The most recent addition to the CCU! And a joint effort between me and my friend @thatwinglessthing, and by that I mean they did all the work and I just tweaked things on Donovan a little. 🤣 And made my MC of course.

To prevent this post from becoming too long, I won't list every picture individually. Shreya and my MC are almost as old as the ES Sims I think. I've always wanted to make the rest of the Pend Pals but never really got around to it. Ironically, Shreya wasn't even my LI, it was Beckett. 😂 Nik & MC are fairly new and I'm quite proud of Nik tbh.

Random combo but we're nearing the end of the smaller groups haha. Guinevere is still missing her Lancelot, I honestly don't know why I still haven't made her. 😔 I'm super proud of the ROD Sims tbh, especially Mona. They were fairly easy, too. On the other hand, I struggled with TCH, especially Jack. 😭 I LOVE his canon ouftit but I just couldn't get anything remotely close and at one point I just gave up lmao. I do like Kieran's outift though.

Alright, now we're entering It Lives territory. 😂 As I've mentioned before, a huge thanks goes to @alltimefail-sims who made ALL of the It Lives characters and gave them away for free!! I marked it in the pictures as well but every Sim except MC, Noah and Jane were made by them!! And yes, I made an adult Jane. 💔 Her design as well as some of the others are based on the characters' looks in ILW instead of Woods bc that's basically the canon time in my CCU. It's only very slightly visible in the Noah/Jane photo and later in the ILW photos but I even built the cabin where most of Within is set in because I have problems. 😂 If you wanna see that too, let me know! I'm actually quite proud of it haha.

Listen, I know Parker is missing.....but I just do not like him. 😂 Or at least I didn't care about him enough to put him in my game. There are countless other characters who deserve to be added to the CCU before Parker LMAO.

And we conclude the It Lives section with the Within crew! One could also say the founders of this little project as I've made Choices Sims before but it wasn't until I added all the It Lives Sims to my game that I actually made a save file and started playing with them. 😅 MC #2 is missing their blind eye (where the scar is) because I just cannot find any CC for a blind eye on that side, it's always either the other or both eyes?? Technically, they should have 2 cyan eyes as well as they're my Shadow Rowan buut. I wanted to keep the heterochromia.

Annnd last but certainly not least the Sims that started this post. 😂 Technically, you've seen them (minus Kade) before but this list felt unfinished without them soo, here are the Blades Sims again. 😂 Nia and Valax are definitely my favorites, I think they turned out really good and Nia's outift is just PERFECT. They're all a mix of their book 1 & 2 outifts because I did try to make book 3 outfits as well but failed miserably. 💀 So I just chose those I could remake the best. Except Kade because he deserves a cool outift too and not just the same fit for all 3 books. 😭

And that concludes this massive list. 😂 I haven't made new Sims in a while but I definitely wanna keep adding to this save. I'm not sure if anyone out there will ever see this AND read everything but if you did: thank you! And I hope you enjoyed this little insight on my mediocre CAS skills. 😆

[oddballwriter]

can i get something with DadKnight being the designated parent to play tooth fairy when your child loses their first tooth and they have to sneakily hide cash under their child pillows in the middle of the night 😭

The Tooth Fairy

Summary: Marc takes on the mission of being the tooth fairy and making the switch with the tooth and money when you daughter is asleep.

Warnings: None that I know of honestly 

Author’s Snip: Wholesome indeed, thank you, anon.

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

Word Count: 933

“Okay, that’s the end of tonight’s chapter.” Marc concluded as he closed the book that the system have been reading to Abi before bed, looking over to your daughter.

“You nice and comfortable?” He asks, to which the little girl nods as she picks at a part of her mouth. “Don’t pick at your gums, sweetheart. If you do your adult teeth grow in funny.” Marc says as he gently pulls her hand away. “How about that tooth? Where is it? The tooth fairy’s gonna be coming tonight for it.” Marc asks.

He’s mostly asking because this is her first lost tooth and one of the kids in her class told her that means the tooth fairy is coming when it first started getting loose, so now he’s gotta do the whole act for her.

Abi sits up and lifts up her pillow showing the little tooth in a plastic baggie that was used to hold the snacks in her lunch box. Marc nods, knowing where exactly the tooth is meant to be.

“Dad.” Abi was looking towards him and getting a simple “Yes?” in return. “Do you think the tooth fairy is real?” she questions. Marc blinks in surprise but keeps a normal face “Why do you ask that?” he asks. “Well, because, no one ever actually sees her and she also visits all the kids who lose their teeth. But there are a lot of kids losing teeth, so how does she get them all?” she explains.

Marc thinks of something to say and settles on one thing. “I used to wonder that too. But I figured that maybe there was more than one tooth fairy and they’re all meant to take care of the kids in different places. And maybe they’re all shy and don’t want people to bother them.” Marc says. He can see Abi think about it before she nods with a smile “That makes sense.”.

Marc smiles and is about to say goodnight but Abi asks another, less explainable, question. “Why do they collect teeth? And why is it only kid teeth?”. Marc gets up from the end of Abi’s bed upon hearing that. “No idea. But how about we head to sleep so the lady can do her job, yeah?” Marc says as he carefully tucks Abi into bed, kisses her on the forehead, and says good night. He closes the door gently as Abi shuffles in her bed to get comfortable and fall asleep. Marc walks to the living room where you are. "So what's the game plan again?" he asks as he sits in the armchair next to the sofa you're seated on. "Just the normal thing you do when you play tooth fairy. You go in when she's asleep, so maybe about an hour from now, take the tooth, quietly replace it with the quarters, and then get out." you explain matter of factually. "And I have to do it why?" Marc asks.

You shrug "I don't know I figured that you would like to do the honors of doing the first tooth.". Marc looks at you for a second with a puzzled look, "That's a weird honor to do." Marc comments. "Well, I can do it if you want." you say, but Marc quickly says "No, I'll do it." which makes you do a smug thats-what-I-thought look.

"Okay, but we aren't going to be one of those gross parents who keep the teeth as creepy souvenirs, right?" Marc questions. "We are keeping her teeth, but that's for if she develops anything and they need stem cells. Baby teeth are good for that." you clarify. Marc smiles at you for a second and says "That was Steven's idea wasn't it?", you look away with a blush and remark "It's a good idea. Just in case she needs it down the line.".

After about an hour since putting Abi to bed, Marc stands outside her bedroom door. He feels a nervousness in himself that feels similar to when he goes on missions. It feels silly but he finds that thinking about this process like a mission helps him feel more confident. He goes over the plan in his mind before taking a breath and quietly opening the door.

He peaks in and finds Abi soundly asleep and cuddled up in her covers. The light from her rotating lamp, the one Steven bought for her that cast stars around the room, provided enough light for Marc to see and navigate around her room. He carefully made his way to her bed, avoiding the creaky parts of the floor, quietly kneeling down to be able to make the switch more clean.

Marc always wondered just how nerve-racking it actually is to be Indiana Jones when he's making the switch with the statue and the sack in the temple as a kid, now he actually knows as he carefully worms his hand under the pillow and pulls out the baggie.

That's one part complete. Now he has to make the replacement. So he takes the small sheer pouch that holds her tooth fairy money and carefully maneuvers it under her pillow, freezing when Abi stirs slightly, but continuing and moving his hand out once he knows she's still asleep.

Marc quietly leaves and closes the door behind him a second time, this time having done the most high-stakes switcheroo he's done in his entire life. He takes a second before quietly pumping his fist in success knowing that in the morning Abi's going to come running out of her room excited about her prize at breakfast time.

[a-wolfs-bad-moon-rising]

Can't Sleep

Johnny "Soap" MacTavish x Insomniac Reader *Fluffy*

*I jumped on the COD bandwagon HARD. So I'm going to try and write for them. I'm sorry I lost my inspiration and want for the others. I'm trying to be a better fic writer. Let me know what you think!

Love, Wolf*

My eyes open for the millionth time. I groan frustrated and roll over. “Come on!”

I call out. This is getting to me. I've always struggled with insomnia but this is ridiculous. I look at the texture of my ceiling, willing myself to fall asleep. I've tried teas, nature sounds, sleeping meds, name it and it hasn't worked. I whine. 

“Why? Can't. I. Fucking. Sleep???” I was new to this base, transfered to be a chemist for Task Force 141. I did a lot of behind the scenes work for the members. They were all nice enough. Price was about business. Ghost was a smart ass but his teasing and insults were more directed to everyone else. Especially Johnny. Johnny was super friendly to me. He’s who I'm closest to of a the Task force members. The least intimidating and leering of all the men. I liked Keegan and Konig enough. It took a lot for me to break them out of their shells. They were super quiet around me. Gaz was pretty friendly too. Honestly I like all of them. They're not the problem. Change of scenery? Tough work? Inhaling too many chemicals? I DON'T KNOW! All I know is I can't fucking sleep and I'm losing it. Well my job is quite stressful and it hasn't helped. I've been trying to push it down but it's hard. Being a chemist in the civilian world had its stresses but in the military? It's a different animal. It's been the root cause of my numerous sleepless nights.

I whimper and give up sitting up in bed. I hear my joints creak as I make my exhausted body work. I stand up and pace my room, the pads of my feet meeting the cold tile and my eyes open more. Ugh, yeah this was gonna be. Long one. I sit at my desk and turn on my PC. The bright screen immediately blinding me. Dammit (Y/N) that definitely made it worse. I sigh and log on.

I search through my games, settling on a shooter game and put my headset on. I look at the time.

2am

Fuck alright here we go. I settle into gaming bitching at the shitty late night players. Are they also insomniacs? Who the hell knows. We have two things in common. We're on the same team. And we're up at 2am. I get particularly irritated when someone who sounds suspiciously like a 10 year old mauls me. The hell with it. I unleash a barrage of insults not meant to be heard by children. Wanna play with adults better grow tf up. In my anger I barely notice the ping on my messages. 

ThatScotSoap: Aye lass what're you dooin up so late?

I look at the message and smile before typing back

(YourGamerTag): how do your messages have an accent?

ThatScotSoap: call it a skeel, didn't answer my question though lass

(YourGamerTag) couldn't sleep

ThatScotSoap: sorry to ere that. Any idea why?

(YourGamerTag): eh stress but who doesnt have it? And I've always had insomnia so that's not helping 

ThatScotSoap: oh sorry lass. I sleep like a wee baby

(YourGamerTag): Gee way to rub it in 😶

ThatScotSoap: Haha sorry lass. Well I can't sleep ayether want me to come by and bug ya?

I hesitate a moment my stomach flipping. Okay Soap MacTavish is a huge heartthrob. Ghost is too for a man most people don't see without a mask. But Soap??? Women throw themselves at him. I would too if I had less shame. I blush and type back.

(YourGamerTag) sure why not?

ThatScotSoap: on my way lassie

After about 10 minutes and waiting for my blush to go down Soap knocks on my door. I let him in.

“Hey there lassie.”

“Hi Johnny” I smile at him

“You look awfully appy.”

I blush.

“I look like a corpse.” He laughs and sits down on my bed

“what do ya wanna do lass to kill time?”

It. I think shamlessly. I wanna do it.

I shake my head and breathe.

“Movie?”

Soap nods. “aye there's a few I've been curious aboot.”

We settle on a movie and I sit next to him. The movie drawls on. I don’t pay much attention. Thinking of work on Monday is creeping into my head. I distract myself with Soap. He’s so intoxicating, his cologne and his close proximity I just want to….

“Lass?.”

“Yes?” I squeak snapping myself out of it 

“Yer not watching are ya?” He asks. I cringe and shake my head.

“I….I can't take my mind off work.” I admit. He nods.

“Aye I've been there myself once r twice. What's botherin a sweet Bonnie like you so much?” I sigh and look at him. I unload all my stresses with the job and worry about my ability on the team. That I maybe bit off more than I could chew. I sniffle by the end and hold back tears. Soap notices and wraps his arms around me. He pulls me into his chest and I'm stunned. I allow him and bury my face in his muscular chest. He gives me a squeeze.

“There there lassie. No on tinks yer not good at yer job. Yer dooin amazin.”

I sniffle and nuzzle his chest. He chuckles.

“Yer okay lassie”

“You sure?”

“Positive.”

I breathe a sigh of relief. He's really respected. He's super nice but he wouldn't put on airs.

“It's been really bothering me and it's making my insomnia worse.”

“Don't worry yer pretty head Bonnie. Yer doing great even that stubborn bastard Ghost and Price think so.”

“Really?”

“Course they do.”

I smile and keep hugging him.

“That's it Bonnie. Relax”

I nod only I start to relax a bit too much and while the movie is playing and start to fall asleep on Soap. I wake up suddenly. He looks down at me and my heart flutters 

“Enjoy yer wee nap lass?”

I nod sheepishly.

“S-sorry” Soap shakes his head.

“Nothin to be sorry for lass. I'll admit. It's been a while since I had someone to sleep next to. Forgot how comfortin it be.” 

“It…is nice” I admit. 

“Want me t'stay?”

I blush and look at him.

“R-Really?”

“I wouldn't have offered if I didn't mean it lass.” I look stunned and slowly shake my head.

“Good I was aboot t’fall asleep myself.” He stands up and crawls onto my bed. I laugh at how comfortably he takes over my bed. He lays down and opens his arms. 

“C’mere lass it's been awhile since I had a good cuddle” I giggle like a school girl and lay in his arms. I feel his strong arms encircle me and his chest press my back. I turn off the lights and lay against him. He softly hums and feeling his chest gently vibrate relaxes me.

His fingers come off my waist and he gently plays with my hair and rubs my head. I moan softly and close my eyes.

“That's it lassie. Let Johnny take care o ya.”

I mumble and my body starts to feel heavy feeling his warmth against me. I slowly drift off but not before I feel a gentle kiss to my head.

“G’night sweet girl.” 

~Soap: Goodnight to all you lassies. Those who can and those who can't sleep. Just know Johnny loves you. Mwah.

(Wolf): Alright Scotsman it's my turn for sleepy cuddles tonight

Soap: Alright alright I guess you were good, you wrote a story the first time in what? Years now?

(Wolf): Shush I'm trying to make up for it

[sensei-venus]

Fluffy ideas u ask? What about robby and Reader finding out they're gonna have another baby?

Omg what if it's like that myth where if your first baby is always on their head looking between their legs it means they're looking for their sibling? Have you heard that before? It's super cute, so what I'd their lil girl starts toddling around just to stop and bends over and looks between her legs and someone says something about the myth and it makes Reader take a test and would ya know it she's pregnant with baby keene #2

(Unedited) (Miguel and Robby are friends but Miguel still likes to poke fun, Diaz Triplets, Miguel and Reader are tired parents.)

A play date was always something g Reader looked forward to. When her and Robby’s daughter finally started talking and walking things got active very quickly in their household. The little girl who once could barely fit in both hands was now everywhere. Anything she would do or get her hands on was fair game. Reader hated having to keep her in one spot for too long as the girl was a ball of energy. Secretly she wondered who she had inhabited all the energy from.

So when the Diaz triplets decided to make a appearance at their home for a much needed playdate, she wasn’t oppose at all. She was quick to usher the newly walking baby’s in along with Miguel. Little feet pounded though the entryway before getting to the living room where they cried out in happiness. All of the kids were so happy to get to play with each other.

Miguel and Reader where honestly just happy to get to sit dow with another adult that day. Being a parent was hard. Being around your kids constantly could sometimes get to you. A nice break every now and again was good.

That’s what landed the two to the two adult sitting on the couch slumped. Both of them were tired from the long day of child-rearing.

“So you have her potty trained already? We are still trying to get the triplets done. The girls are doing great but…” he cut himself off while looking at his son. Reader laughed a little saying “Don’t worry to much about it! I heard girls are a lot easier to potty train than boys, plus, dude you have THREE to potty train all at once. I don’t think it was going to be all that easy anyway. Just keep at it and he will catch on at some point.” Miguel ran a hand though his curls and sighed. His eyes rolled a little as he watched the kids play on the floor.

The triplets where only about two months older then the Keene girl. They where only a little bit ahead of her by a little bit. Most of what they where still leading she was too. All of them where walking and talking by now. Well the triplets where, Reader’s daughter was still trying to talk. She was starting to try and form words full but she was getting there. Miguel and she watched as they messed around with some blocks on the floor for a while, laughing and trying to talk to each other the best they could.

Slowly the Keene girl got up onto her feet with the help of the coffee table. She tried to walk a little bit towards one of the twin girls. Her little legs bubbling a bit before making her way over to the other girl who was smiling at her. She started laughing, seconds later she was bending over and looking though her chubby little legs. Her eyes sparkling as she looked at her her mama. Gummy smile with a few new teeth showing through her lips as she started giggling.

“So how long has she been doing that?” Miguel pointed at the little girl. His eyes lazily looking at her. Reader hummed while cocking her head towards her daughter “That? About a week now. I have no idea why she keeps doing it. She won’t do it to Robby, just me.”

“You should probably get checked out then.”

Reader’s head whipped around to stare at him. Her eyes wide with worry “You think it could be something serious? I really don’t think it’s anything serious. Nothing else seems to be going on-“

“I mean you, you should get checked out or get a pregnancy test.” He snickers at her expression. Reader feels herself go red hot in the face. She taps him on the shoulder hissing “Why would you say that?! What does me possibly being pregnant have to do with her being a odd little toddler.” She huffs. He surges at her saying “My mom always tells me that when a toddler does that, it usually means your pregnant again. It’s like this old wives tale that if your toddler lookers though their legs then they are looking for their sibling. If they don’t have one then it’s thought that you're pregnant.” Soon enough the girl stops and goes back to playing with her friends.

Reader watches with a small smile. The idea of being pregnant again had never crossed her mind. Her and Robby never really talked about having another child just yet. Getting pregnant the first time was a complete shock. They didn’t want to make it sound so bad in passing but their daughter was both a miracle and an accident. They had narrowed it down once she was pregnant.

Reader forgot her birth control just once on the same week that a condom they used broke. It felt almost like a one-in-a-million kind of thing. They would be the ones to get pregnant from a small accident. They were both scared out of their minds but after a while everything fell into place. It wasn't as if they didn't want kids, they both did but having their daughter so soon into their marriage was a lot for them both to handle.

Both of them had issues in their childhood which made them more cautious about the idea of children. It took a lot out of both of them to even wrap their heads around having their little girl.

“Robby really trying to put another in you so soon?” he wiggled his brows making Reader grimace.

“Can we please not talk about what me and Robby do in our own bedroom right now.”

“Um okay but if you really do have a chance of having a bun in the oven, you might want to let him know.” he rolls his eyes before relaxing back into the soft cushions.

Reader chewed at her lip as she turned her attention back to the kids. Eyes focused on her little girl again. She was currently hugging one of the Diaz girls while playing a toddler version of tag. Her light green eyes were full of glee as she tapped one of the other toddlers and took off to the other end of the room. Her little feet took her to the other side of the room, the other kids following behind her. She seemed so happy to be playing with the other toddlers.

Readers mind started to wonder.

Was it possible?

Could she really be pregnant again, even after being so careful?

(Might make a second part to finish this.💖)

[daydreaming-scheming-demon]

i know undertale is like, almost a decade old at this point, even older if you count the kickstarter’s age, but i still cant get over how flowey/asriel is literally such a cool fucking character. he’s like a player that plays a game too many times and stops being able to see the characters as people as their brain sees them acting the same and doing the same things on each replay and how he loses his sympathy bc of that. and this makes him come across as a typical pure evil antagonist at first, but then you learn his backstory, and it’s all just, aghhhhhhhh. and then you learn in the genocide route that he helped people at first, he used to be kind, but he got bored, and how that contrasts the player on the genocide route with flowey, the genocide route where the player is now in the role of the pure evil villain, just like flowey was.

and also i love how the guy is literally just an edgy kid. like, he comes across as an adult at first, but the guy’s just like one of those cynical little kids who only wants to see the worst in everything. and how that’s portrayed in the true pacifist route where he gives himself this edgy name and transformation sequence that feels like something a kid would come up with. tho the idea that he’s a kid does kinda come into question when you consider all the resets he’s been on, but even still he never got to grow up.

i wanna hug this lil dude so badly, even in flower form, he deserves a hug.

i fucking love this dude, he’s kinda like a pure evil antagonist, but actually has a backstory that makes you feel sorry for him and make his actions feel understandable, even if he can feel like some insane cartoon supervillain, his actions still feel reasonable with his backstory in mind. it’s like taking the idea of an unrealistically evil villain and asking yourself what couldve possibly made them that way

and his whole life as asriel with chara as a sibling. aghhhhhhhh, i love it.

and how in the beginning of the game he probably hasnt even realized his powers are missing yet, and that may just be a small thing but i find it a fun small recontextualization. that in this moment where you seem like you’re falling into his trap, he doesnt even realize that you have far more power over him than he thinks. and something i never even really thought about for a while is how he probably had a bit of a mental breakdown realizing his powers are missing sometime between your first and second time meeting him, and how he probably had to get himself all ready to talk with you again and come across as confident and threatening. like, there’s no way he just brushed off the fact that his powers are missing so easily, his plan to use you to retrieve the souls probably helped him feel better, but there’s no way this dude just brushed off losing the powers he’s been relying on for who knows how long so easily. he definitely got all angry and scared at his missing powers sometime between your first and second meeting, for at least a little while.

honestly, i feel like undertale didnt have enough of him. he deserved more screentime imo. which is why i was really happy to see his characterizationin done so well in undertale yellow, i fucking loved how that game built on his character. and his whole boss fight in that game somehow outdoing his boss fights in the original game. and how a lot of his attacks involve self harm in some way. and how he acts as the save points for the game so you get to hear a lot more from him throughout the game. i feel like undertale yellow gave me some characterization for him that i really fucking needed.

genuinely one of my favourite characters in all of fiction. would love to have a conversation with this lil guy.